158.4 - Running, The Great Equalizer

I'm happy to say that I really think the "quad issue" is behind me. During yesterday's 5 miler, I pushed myself harder and am no worse for wear. I felt good immediately following the run and am feeling fine today. Now if only the winter weather would leave, I could really get into some nice weather running and get my mileage back up where I want it to be.

One of the things I love about running is that it is such an equalizer. Whenever runners gather in a large group, most often a race, there is such an assortment of people to be found. There are beautiful people and not so beautiful people. There are doctors and lawyers and people flipping burgers or hauling trash. There are young people and not so young people (no runner can ever be called old). There are educated people and high school drops outs. And despite all the differences, differences that may be very divisive in "regular life", once we put our running shoes on, we are brothers and sisters in the purest manner. We have the utmost respect for one another, just because we run and have the courage to find out what our best really is.

I like the idea that, even though our ranks are growing, most people aren't runners. It makes me feel special to be a runner. It's like being a member of an exclusive group that other people find odd. Everyone has the opportunity to join the group, but most choose not to join. It's like we runners are "the few, the proud, . . ." well, you get my drift. I find it very humorous to hear people tell me (and I've heard this so many times I can't even count),

"I'd like to be able to run but I'm not going to ruin my knees because I
know someone who was a runner and their knees are shot".

These sort of statements often come from someone who is over weight (isn't that sort of hard on the knees?). I used to defend running but now I just nod. I think about all the people I know of who have had knee replacements and not one of them was ever a runner. I think of all the people in the wheel chairs at the nursing home I used to visit and not one of them was a runner. I think of my conversation with Bill Rogers (yep, "Boston Billy") a few years back and how he said after all his running he's never had a knee problem. Yeah, I'm really taking your words seriously because every other piece of data (including the most recent medical trials) tell me you're full of crap. Too bad for you because you're really missing out.

You can't help but notice the different body types in the running field. In a smaller race, I'm trying to decide who is and isn't in my age grouping. In a larger field, it's just general observations. After all, we're going to see where we "place" in reference to other people. But the funny thing is, it really doesn't matter. Because even if we're last place in our age group, even if we're last place in the whole event, we still beat out everyone who did not run, and that is the majority of the population.

You can never tell a runner by what they look like. I've passed some very young, athletic looking people and been passed by some people who look like walking a block would be a challenge. I think to a large extent, it depends what's on the inside. In some cases, literally, like who was blessed with more fast twitch muscle fibers, but a lot of the time I think it's all within the spirit.

When I first started running I really wanted to know the difference between a jogger and a runner. Different people offered me different pacing information to differentiate between the two. But that wasn't good enough so I looked for more because I knew that wasn't the REAL difference between the two. For awhile, I accepted the answer that jogging was more of an up and down motion whereas running was more of a fluid forward motion. This satisfied me for a short time. Then, I think I came to understand the real difference between the two. It's the heart. I'm not speaking about the biological differences although it's a scientific fact that a runner's heart differs from others because it is stronger and healthier (evidenced by lower resting pulse rates, blood pressure, etc.). I'm talking about the heart of a runner in the psychological and emotional sense. Being a runner describes WHO the person is. Being a jogger describer WHAT a person does. I am a runner.

235 Days

Yep, 235 days until EJ & BJ. I set a count down timer on my cell phone and it just gives me the number of days. And my life has ALREADY changed too! I went for a run this afternoon and I had a great time - knocked off more than 10 seconds. I'm sure if I hadn't gotten those tickets I wouldn't have run so fast. Oh yeah, already I'm feeling younger! Maybe even a bit sassy!

I read an article from the LA times about the concert and it sounds just fantastic. They sang for 3 full hours and did all the stuff from the 70's and 80's. I can't wait . . . just 235 more days . . .

158.2 - BBBBBBenny & The Jets

Get back Honky Cat cuz we're going down the Yellow Brick Road! Here's what someone looks like who's going to the Elton John & Billy Joel (hereafter referred to as EJ & BJ) Face to Face Concert (in November). And this is what someone looks like who saw how much it's costing for the tickets.

Oh well, money is like a Candle in The Wind. I'm just excited to go!

Spouse and I used 2 phones and 2 computers to try and get the best seats when the tickets went on sale this morning. It was sure a stressful hour! Spouse said he hasn't even been that stressed when gambling (not that we're big gamblers)! Trying to decide, "Do we buy these tickets or dump 'em and hope for better"? Luckily, at the end of an hour we are relieved to say that we ended up with the best seats we came up with during the whole process. Whew! Concert ticket buying is not for the faint of heart - ha! ha! I'm so excited!!

156.4

I find it very interesting that despite all the things that happened yesterday, my weight has remained EXACTLY the same. There is no way I could so closely calculate the calories in/calories out formula so precisely so as to guarantee the same weight 2 days in a row. There are just too many variables, the least of which is that we REALLY don't know what the "calorie out" number is, do we? Besides, water doesn't add calories but it doesn't take much to add weight. And since yesterday's eating was not the norm, and I did a long run, and yet the number is the same. Interesting . . .

Speaking of calories out, I had a test once where they measured your calorie burn at rest, then put you on a treadmill and measured your calorie burn at certain heart rates. I thought that would be a wonderful source of data. And I guess it would have been except for two things. First of all, it was very near what I thought it would be when I was thinking in more general terms of what my calorie burn would be and secondly, the numbers couldn't be trusted (in the follow up). They do the test twice, 6 weeks apart as I recall. The idea is that you would be exercising during those six weeks and then when you returned you'd have more muscle built up so your calorie burn (metabolism) would be increased.

Well, the first test was low enough (about what I assumed) that it was depressing. Sometimes I just hate being right about something. Then, when I went back 6 weeks later, it had increased to such a high number that it wasn't credible. During the 6 week period I didn't do anything that would account for building muscle either. I only run. I wish I did other things, but I only run. I need to do other things, but I only run. Other stuff is exercise, running is not. I hate exercise. In good weather I'll ride my bike, but basically, I only run. That's just how it is.

But the testing wasn't totally useless because I was lighter the second time around . . . .about $175 lighter - ha! ha! I think the testing would be accurate, I just think the testers weren't used to the way the test should be run. They seemed to have operational problems (equipment and operator) both times. I should have waited until they had gotten past their learning curve.

So today it's snowing like crazy. The wind was blowing earlier and I guess what it was blowing in is this "gee-it's-snowing-so-hard-that-I-hope-we-can-get-to-grandma's-for-Thanksgiving-dinner" kind of snow. I'm so done with winter!

Long Run Report

I had the nicest long run. That's the best word I can use to describe it. As I mentioned before, I had a luncheon meeting. I had a seafood salad for lunch. It was very low in calories. However, my downfall is bread and I had (prepare yourself for this) 3 rolls plus a 1/2 size kind-of-roll thing (called a cornpone). Yep, I do love bread. Since I knew I was going to get out early enough to get the run in, I wasn't too worried about the calories from the bread. But I didn't consider how filling it would be. Oh yeah, it was filling.

So about 2 hours after I got out of the meeting, we headed out for our run. It was almost 3:00 p.m. It was about 50 degrees and mostly cloudy. The sun poked its nose out off and on. The wind was out of the south at about 10+ MPH. In the other directions it was too warm for a jacket but with the wind, I slipped on a light jacket. We had about 6 miles of running into the wind.

Anyway, we headed up the mile and a half hill. We hadn't run it in a couple weeks so I knew it would be tough. On top of that, I was still feeling pretty full. BUT . . . I had a bunch of carbs just floating around in my blood stream looking for some muscles to supply glycogen to, and I had muscles looking for glycogen. it was a perfect match!

I felt really strong for the whole run. I could have run more than 13 miles but at mile 12 my knee started doing a weird thing. It didn't hurt but a tendon was "malfunctioning" and my knee would just give out and I'd have to catch myself to keep from falling. I hung in for 12.45 miles then decided it was a dangerous situation if I was to fall. So I stopped running. But I still felt great and COULD have continued longer. My time was the best all year for a long run too. The knee thing happened to me one other time, about 4 years ago, it's just one of those freak things. So I'm just glad we were able to get in a long run AND wear shorts! Because the weather is going down hill after today. Ah, it was such a nice run too.

156.4 - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

It's a beautiful day for a long run today! And I'm due for a long run since it was a week ago that I ran the half marathon. I've been out for a couple 5 milers this week but I'm really due (needing) a long run. Unfortunately, I have this meeting to go to and it is at lunch time so there's a good possibility that it will just mess me up and I won't have enough time to get the run done. Our weather has pretty much been back to winter. There's snow on the ground again but at least "below the hill" where we run, it's pretty much all melted off. It's supposed to be sunny and mid 50's today. Just perfect for a long run. Oh, I hear my shoes calling me!

It just occurred to me yesterday that our Boston trip is just two and a half weeks away. Wow, that's creeping up fast! We mailed our entries away for the 10K by the coast (and the lighthouse) so that is all squared away.

We're hoping to get tickets to the upcoming (OK, not until November) concert with Elton John and Billy Joel. The tickets are pricey but I think it will be worth every penny of it. I love their music and of course the piano is my thing. Maybe something will rub off on me? Anyway, I need to be close enough to see them sweat. I hope they don't sweat, but if they do, I want to be that close. I don't go for the high-in-the-sky cheap seats for a concert. Might as well just buy the DVD if that's all there is. Anyway, we should know by Monday since that is when the tickets go on sale. My friend Mary might be able to get the tickets earlier so hopefully that will happen but by Monday we'll know for sure.

I guess I better get moving along. This morning isn't standing by and waiting for me. If we're able to get the long run in I'll probably update my post. Keep your fingers crossed!!

156.4 - Do You Understand?

I want to thank everyone who gave me data yesterday. It's a never ending process but as Sharon mentioned, I can be happy only until I receive conflicting data. Then I'm back to square one. I had coffee with 2 friends this morning and we were able to discuss this further. I think we all need data and we're just trying to figure out the best way to collect it. Anyway . . .

I read several different blogs. There are some that I've read for several years and then there are others that I just read "for awhile". There is one type of blog that has really intrigued me, just because of the sheer number of followers this type of blog seems to maintain. Of course, I'm generalizing, but in my experience the bloggers who are morbidly obese seem to have a very large following.

After I started reading a few of these, I began noticing that a lot of the bloggers are trying to lose weight, have some success, then fall victim to their bad habits. It's a one step forward and 2 steps back sort of thing. The struggle is detailed and over all not always very successful. The followers are still there, constantly cheering them on with strong support and helpful advice. They also share portions of their own histories and seem to strongly identify with the bloggers' struggles. It surprises me that the followers don't get bored or frustrated and drop off since the journey is often an endless loop.

As a blogger, I can't help but be a bit envious of such a following. I've wondered what the attraction was, what was keeping the followers coming back day after day. Well, it finally hit me. I think it is the need to be understood.

The need to be understood is very basic to human nature. I think it's even stronger than we probably realize. Dr. Phil once said that a couple having marital problems would not be able to move past the problem until the woman believed the husband understood her. Their issue would not rest until He understood the pain he caused Her. I think that's why men think women bitch endlessly about an issue, we're just trying to be understood. It's hard to get the feeling you're understood if the other person is not actively listening or is just trying to blow us off. So we continue to try and explain (nag or bitch to a man) in the hope of being understood.

When I use the word "understood" I don't mean it at a superficial level. I mean a true, deep understanding. Understanding so well that we know what it is like to be the other person. I liken this to a sermon one of our former pastors gave about "knowing" God. She compared "knowing" like we might "know" grandma's pumpkin pie. Not just knowing what the pie might look like, but knowing its feel, smell, its taste, its texture, the smoothness of the pie filling and the flakiness of the crust. I think you know what I mean.

I want (need) to be understood. We all want to be understood. I would rather be understood than liked or accepted. Communication is a difficult thing and a lot more complicated process than one might imagine. My minor is in Communication so I had many classes in college on this topic. As a matter of fact, after awhile I came to the conclusion that it is almost a miracle that any one person might be able to effectively communicate with any other person to any level of understanding. There are so many possibilities for misunderstandings in the process. So it isn't easy to be understood. It takes effort on both parts, the speaker and the listener.

I think those of us with food issues don't totally understand it ourselves. We spend a lot of time trying to sort it out. We wonder why, when we want most of all to control our eating, we continue to put food into our mouths even when we are already full from a recent meal. So when we run across another person who seems to understand us, it is a very strong attraction. And since many heavily overweight people are often isolated to one degree or another, the need to be understood may be even stronger or possibly more difficult to come by.

I think blogging helps me fulfill the need to be understood. I am in total control of how I chose to explain what I think or feel. I don't have to worry about the reaction my "listener" might have. If they leave me a comment, it might fulfill my need to be understood. I risk very little. On the other hand, I'm more honest in my blogging than I am in my (real) life. I don't deny my feelings or weaknesses in blogging. It feels safer to reveal those things in my blogging because it's all on my own terms. I don't feel like I have to be on guard and self disclosure comes more easily. So I know if I've explained myself well enough that somewhere out there in the vast Internet world, somebody understands what I'm saying.

I read reports that caution people that what they post on the Internet is there forever (that's a long time). Somehow, I get satisfaction out of knowing that one day when I am no longer of this world, I might still be understood by another. But as one sided as I've presented my case today, I really do hope in some way I'm able to help another person, even if it's only to know that they are not alone in their journey.

Thank you for coming by, and thank you for understanding me.

156.6 - Gimme Data!

I wonder what I look like to other people. What I would like to do, is go to a busy location and pass out surveys, asking people to fill out a questionnaire all about what I look like to them.

How old do I look?

Do I look like a nice person or a mean person?

How fat do I look?

Do I look weird?

Do I look smart or stupid?

Does my personality look like it matches my physical appearance?

Is it so obvious that I wear a size 11 shoe (11 1/2 for running shoe)?

What's the first thing people notice about me?

In my younger years, people always said they wouldn't want to "mess" with me. Although that has come in handy on numerous occasions, I can't help but wonder, why is that?

Do I come across as a bully or as an ax murderer?

Just what data are they using to come to this conclusion?

I guess to actually survey people with a questionnaire "all about me", I'd be considered rather vain. In actuality, I don't think I have a vain bone in my gorgeous body (just kidding, I had to throw that in there). But really, I would like this information. Despite the fact I have 2 perfectly good eyes, what I see is filtered through my brain, and the information in my brain helps determine what I see. And my brain is quite often, very confused. I think it's a lot like when we hear our voice on a recording. It's always surprising what I sound like. Not just the actual sound of my voice but the way I articulate my words, the speed at which I deliver them and my inflection, etc.

I used to work at an insurance company and I did recorded interviews over the telephone all the time. I wore a headset when I did them, freeing my hands so that I could enter notes about the interview into my computer as I did the interview. I'll admit, I always enjoyed hearing my voice. Not because I'm full of myself, I was just "collecting data". Because it was so different from my expectations, it was interesting to me. Actually, I was fascinated by it. So I think if I "knew" what I looked like, I'd be just as fascinated.

Am I the only one who thinks this way?

Of course, the information could be down right depressing too. Maybe I look older than I really am. There's no way I look fatter than I think I am because I really "feel/look" quite fat most days, almost obese. Intellectually, I think I can't be obese at my weight, but I often feel obese.

Sometimes I point out a person and ask spouse if I am fatter or thinner than that person. The only problem with that is I don't know if I can trust his answers because even though I tell him to tell the truth, only a foolish man would be totally truthful, don't you think?

It catches me by surprise whenever a stranger refers to me as being something other than over weight. I was sitting around waiting to go in for my turn for a mammogram last summer, just chatting with a few women, and one of them made a comment about me not having to worry about my weight. Who - me? Not me!

That data did not fit in with the files I'm keeping on me.

Once, at the post office, chatting to a stranger in line, another person made a similar remark. I wonder if my face has a shocked expression on it when I hear such a thing. Of course, I don't believe it, (people just say nice things) but as you can tell, it stays on my mind for a very long time.

I long for it to be true.

I need additional information to help me determine who I am. Is that scary, letting others have free access to the data I'm using to determine who I am or what I look like? Do THEY know they have such power over (sometimes) a relative stranger? Cognitively, I think it is rather stupid, very risky at best, but I think there's no way around it. I think we can have an idea of what we look like, or how we measure up, only when compared to others.

It would be so freeing if it weren't that way.

I've had people remember me after only seeing me for a moment, or our encounter was very brief. They tell me I have a "memorable" personality.

What does that mean?

When people say this sort of thing, what I want to do is hand them that imaginary questionnaire and have them fill it out.

I think Hitler had a memorable personality.

Right now . . . grab your pencil, sit down and fill out this 20 page questionnaire. I need this data!

Two years ago, at the local half marathon, (the one I'm doing in May again), there was this man who came up to me while I was at the warming fires and started talking about how he recognized me from the prior year. I didn't remember him at all. Then he said he remembered me because of the things I was saying.

Just what the heck did I say?

Then last year, he showed up again and this time he brought his son with him. They hung around with me until the race started. I suppose he'll be there next month too. But it makes me wonder . . .

Do people remember me because I'm odd in some freakish way?

I remember this one woman I met briefly only because her features are so sharp that it looks like you could cut yourself on a side profile of her face. She's memorable. I bet she'd be surprised if I filled out her questionnaire. Hell, I remember a girl from first grade because she pooped on the toilet seat. I don't remember any one else, including the teacher, from first grade but I sure remember Karen Kitchens and I didn't even personally witness the offense.

Anyway, I guess the bottom line is that at almost 53 years of age, I still don't know what I look like. I guess by now there's not much hope I'll ever recognize myself in a crowd.

Is it just me or does anyone else need some data?

157.4

When I was at the doctor's office yesterday, this family of three came in and sat in the chairs opposite me in the waiting room. All three people were quite over weight and their dress seemed to emphasize that fact. But it was the man that really stayed on my mind because he was morbidly obese. He immediately sat down, I am assuming by his heavy breathing that it was too painful to do anything else. As he sat in the chair, he folded his arms across his stomach. He had a very large stomach, like one I've never seen other than when a friend was pregnant with twins. It worked out as a nice table for his folded arms. He soon fell asleep and napped the whole time I was sitting in the waiting room. I wondered to myself, what did it feel like to be him?

Anyway, on the drive home from the doctor's it was like I was really noticing what people looked like. I swear I have never seen so many obese and morbidly obese people before. I'm sure there were there all along but I never noticed. I really understood, maybe for the first time, why we are in a national weight crisis. As a nation, we are really messed up!

Like I said, this has just sort of stayed on my mind. Weight issues are pretty much always on my mind anyway, but seeing this man, for whatever reason, made it more so. Then last night, I watched The Biggest Loser. There are two things that I specifically want to comment on that happened last night. First of all, Kristen hit her 100 pounds lost goal. She's has lost 100 pounds, the first woman to do so on campus. It was a toss up, who would hit this benchmark first, Kristen or Tara. I'm glad Kristen hit it, even though I'm rooting for Tara to win the show. The reason I wanted Kristen to hit it first was because she is not the powerhouse that Tara is. Kristen is still very overweight, maybe even still morbidly obese. And yet she is able to celebrate this accomplishment. I think it is important that when we're losing weight, running a race, working towards advancement at a job, or a degree in school, whatever our goal is, that we have other goals along the way.

The success is in the journey. That's so important I'll say it again . . . the success is in the journey. If we wait to reach the end before we can celebrate victory, then we have not taken advantage of all the victories we glossed over because we were too focused on the end goal. Success isn't always so black and white. Don't get me wrong, we do need to be focused on that end goal, but not to the exclusion of the other achievements along the way. So I thought Kristen really brought that to light and I was very happy for her.

The other thing was about the immunity challenge. Everyone ganged up on Tara and piled all this additional weight onto her car that she had to pull 1/2 mile to win immunity. The emotional impact of having so many others place this burden on her was overwhelming. I also remembered how she should have won the half marathon run challenge but Helen put a penalty on her (by eating the cookie) and she lost to Sione, not by achievement, but by penalty. It was so unfair but life is sometimes like that. But all the additional weight really felt unfair and it beat her down to where she was ready to just quit and go home.

The other thing I wondered about is why her team mates appeared to despise her for her success and determination? Sociologists have a term for this but I forget what it is, but it's when a member of a group is succeeding and the other members unconsciously thwart the efforts of the successful person in an effort to keep them down on their level. They've all had success but Tara is the one who wins a lot of challenges and the facial expressions of the other contestants made it quite obvious that they were enjoying the possibility of bringing her down.

So Tara wanted to quit. How often, when we're trying to reach our weight goals (an any other goal) do we just want to quit, because it's not worth the stress, hassle, work, whatever? It's normal to want to give up, it's human to want to give up when something is difficult. I mean, it is easier to not count calories. It is easier to not run 13 miles (or even 1 mile for that matter). We have this one part of our brain that sends us the message that whatever the task is, it is causing us too much physical or mental stress. So in order to protect the body from further stress, it tries to convince us to stop. Every runner has to learn how to shut down or ignore this very thing or else there is no way they will continue to run. It is much easier to stop the activity. This is the reason I often say the first mile is a physical test and every mile after that is a mental test.

Luckily, Laura was there to talk some sense into Tara and Tara, fueled with anger, did not get derailed. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a support person so handy just when we need them most, but Tara was and there was no damage done. But what happens when we're all alone and we can't shut down that voice in our head? We have to learn to be our own best friends and shut it down. We have to learn to NOT allow that negative tape to run through our minds, but to reprogram it with something that will be more useful in attaining our goal. We need to know how we will handle it because you can bet, it will happen. In distance running, when my mind is trying to stop me from running farther, I've used all kinds of stupid tricks to just occupy my mind with something else until those negative thoughts pass (math problems work great). It's not unlike weight loss where we have to do the same thing.

So when the challenge started and Tara was behind Sione, I felt Tara's pain. Extra weight, it wasn't fair. Luckily, Tara reprogrammed her "poor me" tape to one that would benefit her. But just like weight loss, those who sprint off to a fantastic start, often fizzle out before reaching the finish line. Once again, slow and steady wins the race.

We all know that these contestants have been working out like crazy for weeks now. We also not that as a matter of physiology that a man has more muscles than a woman and all things being equal, a lot more strength. So why did Tara win this race? Why did Tara win when she was even carrying more weight than her strongest competitor? Why did Tara win, despite all the odds? Because she won the mental battle in her head. She shut down the negative voices and was fueled by determination (and a little bit of anger too). So this leaves me with one last question, what can we all accomplish if we learn to ignore the self defeating tape in our heads?

158

We never made it running yesterday. I just couldn't bring myself to go out into the cold. First, it took until later in the afternoon for the roads to dry out, and by then, I was cold to the bone. I hate being cold to the bone but unfortunately, it's a regular thing for me. So today, I'm going running. The sun is out (for awhile anyway) and it's not snowing, so it has to be a better day for it. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to wear tights . . . Drats!

Yesterday, we decided to see if we can catch any races while we're in Boston. I didn't think there would be much to choose from, I mean, who's going to schedule a race the same (weekend) time as the Boston Marathon? What race wants to compete with that? Well, there are a lot of 5K races that are willing to compete with Boston. I hate 5K's. OK, maybe hate is too strong of a word. I intensely dislike 5K races. Oh, I'll do a 5K if there is absolutely nothing else available and I'm really itching to race. But that's it. I mean, it's a speed contest that's over in the blink of an eye. So it was with great excitement that we found a 10K the day before the Boston Marathon.

It's a small 10K, and pretty darn cheap as far as races go. The first 300 get a free t-shirt (grrrrrr . . . unisex cotton) but it's only fifteen bucks so I can't complain. Sign me up! The thing that sold us on it was the location. It's some town (that I could never guess a pronunciation on) that is located on the coast. This way we can run along the Atlantic ocean (another mark on our map) out to a light house. Talk about scenic New England! It looks like the inland portion of it is all trees too, so that will be nice (we just don't have enough trees in this state!).

So I guess when I said the next race was in May I was wrong. Now it's April. I'm really looking forward to this Boston trip. I think it will be a lot of fun. I like Boston a lot (I think I've said that before but it bears repeating because I REALLY like Boston).

As a footnote to yesterday's post on women's race shirts, I agree with Jen's comment about how the sizes are different. When we registered for Long Beach last year, they gave detailed sizing charts on their shirts. And of course, that shirt fits great. The Moab shirt fits great too but there were a couple years that they somehow managed to have every size for both genders messed up. Luckily, I've never had a great shirt be a wrong size, although I have lots of so-so and ugly shirts fit poorly. I used to have a giant pile of brand new race shirts. I didn't wear them but didn't want to part with them either. Finally, I decided to send them to Afghanistan. So, that's where they went. Somewhere in the remote mountain country of Afghanistan are people wearing shirts from my local races. It's a small world isn't it?

Well, I need to get out there, on this cold, winter-like spring day, and get a 5 miler in. We're into racing season now and it's more important to get the miles in. Then later on I have a piano lesson and a doctor's appointment. Better get moving . . .

Home Again!

We got home late yesterday afternoon. Every thing's put away and now it's back to "normal". I like normal because if everything isn't normal that can be either really good or really bad. I've lived too much life to risk the chance on bad, so normal is a good place for me.

Last night, as we were watching something on TV, I looked across the room at spouse and remarked how Moab was now "behind us", yet if felt like it never occurred. Having a half marathon in March is on our minds all winter long. It's what encourages (forces) us to get out in the nasty winter weather and keep running, because we know we have that race in March. So it serves a very important purpose. And now it's done and we're looking forward to the next half in May. I need to do some things in my training so I can race against my potential and win. Since I had an even better time last year at the May race, it'll be tougher to beat me. But if I do some speed work and knock off a couple pounds, I'm sure I can do it. And if I fail . . . I'll just try again and again and again. I'm not going down without a fight!

The thing on my mind this morning is something I've read several different places. Women are increasingly becoming the majority in road races, especially distance races. I know that was also the case in Moab this past weekend. I think running is a perfect women's sport and studies have shown that women are better at the endurance part of distance running than men. So now I'm wondering, why don't more races provide women's sizing for their race shirts? I mean, why would you only offer "unisex" sizes, (which we all know just means "its-a-man's-shirt-and-won't-fit-any-women-decently-but-we're-pretending-we're-not-catering-to-men) and ignore women who make up the majority of the race participants?

I've run a lot of races and most of them give out a 100% cotton, unisex shirt. First of all, it just isn't going to fit right because it's cut for a man and I am not a man. Secondly, I am NEVER going to run in a cotton shirt unless someone is chasing me and I'm running for my life, then maybe I will. But if I know I'm running, I will ALWAYS wear a technical shirt that was designed to evaporate sweat from my body instead of soaking it up and staying against my flesh (like cotton does) making me feel miserable. And finally, I am not going to wear the t-shirt in every day life because once again, it doesn't fit right, the neck line is not flattering, it's most likely white which is a color that makes everyone look larger, and let's face it, it isn't my every day choice of clothing to wear a man's shirt.

So, since the target audience of any race should be the participants, why not have a shirt that a runner would wear while around other runners? Yep, a technical shirt. A shirt that makes the wearer more comfortable and will save the runner buying one at the local running/sports store where it's more expensive. I'm thinking most runners want to advertise their accomplishments. So what better advertising is there than the shirt? I mean, you can't go around town wearing your medal, you'd look kind of silly wearing that wouldn't you (although for my first marathon I surely was tempted)?

Still, the technical shirt is only going to be worn IF IT FITS! So, again, let's support the women's sizing in race shirts. Moab, after a few errors in the learning curve, offers a great shirt, cut for a female's body. It has a flattering (and more comfortable) V-neck and it is a technical fabric. I will wear it when I go running. I'll "advertise" to anyone running with me, or who sees me running down the road. A few other races also have provided nice women's technical shirts. Last year at Long Beach we got one. Even thought it was white, it had a colorful design on the front of it. So some races are offering them, we just need to be more vocal about it. So come on ladies, let's be heard!

Race Day Report

When I got up this morning I was dismayed (panicked) to find out that the "occasional" back pains that were shooting down my lower back (yesterday) had become more pronounced and more frequent, steady even. I didn't pay too much attention to it yesterday because I thought it would go away. I didn't consider that it could get worse. At first, I couldn't figure out what caused it but after discussing with hubby, we decided it was because of playing tennis the day before we drove down to Moab. Talk about bad timing!

So I got dressed and ready to go. We met up with some friends (Eric & Kim) that run this with us every year and headed out to where we catch the bus to go up the canyon. The temperature was 44 in town so I figure it was in the upper 30's up the canyon. My back did not appreciate the shivering once we got up there. Anyway, this first picture was taken of the area where all the runners catch the buses. About 5,000 runners were hauled up to start the race. This is a picture of Eric & Kim, warmly dressed since it was rather cold for standing around. This was taken while standing in line to board the bus.

Me & hubby, waiting to board the bus.

Once we got up the canyon, the first order of business is to hit the porta potty line. Runners are dropped off about 1/4 mile below the starting line. Just before the race starts, about 1/2 an hour actually, we head up to the start line and put our warm up clothes in the truck to be taken to the finish line. So we have about 1/2 an hour to shiver in shorts before the race starts. The sun is blocked by the steep canyon walls so it is pretty chilly. At this point, I was wondering how my back was going to be able to handle the impact of running. In the photo, Spouse is in green sweats & Eric is to his right.

Runners just sit around on the rocks, waiting for the race to start. I can't do this scene justice with my cell phone camera. There really are thousands of runners sitting in the rocks.

Runners are all lined up. We started the race at the back of the line for 2 reasons. First and foremost was that we hoped the spot we were standing would get some sun on it and warm us up. The second reason is that with chip timing, there is no reason to hurry to cross the start line. Gun time only applies to the elites or anyone who plans to "break the ribbon". Of course, that does not apply to us. For non racers, this is why you see a difference in some one's gun time and chip time. The chip time is how long it REALLY took the person to run the distance.

So the race started and I was cautious, checking out to see how the back was going to handle impact. I figured within the first mile or two that it wouldn't bother me to run, it hurt the same no matter if I was standing, sitting, or running. So my next concern was whether it would hold up for 13 miles.

This next photo is at about mile 11 where we come out of the canyon onto city streets for the final two miles. I took this photo because I was taking my phone out to power it up (no signal in the canyon) because I was going to signal hubby when I was nearing the finish line so he could snap a photo (plan failed), anyway, I figured I might as well snap a photo.

Since I talked about the two women I think of when I approach this finish line each year, I want to follow up on that here. As I made the final left turn that took me to the finish line, I glanced at my GPS and saw that the mileage was 12.9 miles (total distance was 13.27 so it was a bit long at this point). And I looked at the finish line. I was thinking that this was the last thing that the fallen runner saw, before she collapsed and ultimately died. As I mentioned, her photo is in the program each year. Her name was Sheri Haymore. There's a photo of her in the program that was taken during the race (2005), somewhere along the prior 12+ miles. In the photo she is running with a smile on her face. She had no idea that within an hour or two, she would die. This really humbles me and makes me appreciate the value of life and how fragile it really is. I think it's important that we're reminded of this on occasion.

As I move past that spot where she fell on the road, I get closer to the finish line. Bystanders are calling out to the friends and family members that approach the finish line. I strain to hear my name called, knowing I won't hear it. Again, I remember Engia and honor her spirit. Within yards, I cross the finish line. My race is over. For the 7th time, I've finished this particular race. It's a familiar feeling, this feeling of pride and accomplishment. Even when I don't meet my own expectation for my time, I'm still proud of what I've accomplished because not everyone can do it. And I just did, again.

I don't have the official time yet but it is probably close to the time on my GPS which was roughly 2 hours and 19 minutes. This is way too slow for me. Last year I ran this same course 8 minutes faster. After allot of "hashing it over", I've decided that my "official" opinion of my race is that I ran well, but I didn't race the distance. I ran it more like a training run. I guess I didn't want to push that hard since my back was acting up, and I was running a bit slower the prior weeks too, (a result of the quad issues I think). So I am very disappointed in my time and at the same time, I had a good run. So, good run, crappy time. Oh well . . .

This is a picture I took heading into the runner recovery area with food & water.

Spouse (in green) looking to see if our official time was posted yet. It was interesting in that all 4 of us ended up running the course slower than the prior year. To answer a question I received, the temperature while we were running (once the sun came up) was in the 60's and finishing in the 70's. It wasn't bad but there were a few hot spots when the sun was directly on us. All that rock tends to heat up quickly.

Me & Hubby.

After the race we went for a hike at Arches National Park. We just headed out on this one trail and sort of wandered around. Moab is famous for all its rock. It is a big place for bikers and 4-wheelers because they like all the slick rock.

This view doesn't show much, other than the limitations of my cell phone camera.

Hubby on hike.

Me on hike.

So all in all, we had a good time and I'm very relieved that my back is no worse for wear. We have another half marathon coming up in May and I'm going to hit the track for some speed work because last year I ran it in 2 hours and 8 minutes and I'm not going to have 2 slow races in a row! After all, like I said, I'm racing against my potential and today, my potential fell short.

In Moab

We arrived in Moab late this afternoon and were greeted by banners on the streets and, more importantly, 80 lovely degrees (also accompanied by lots of sun). I really like the shirt they have this year. It's colorful and made of a light technical fabric. The design is similar to last years except the fabric is lighter and there's not pocket. I liked the pocket so much in last year's shirt that I'm wearing it tomorrow for the race. Too bad this one lacks a pocket.

They also gave us a matching hat (forgot to photo that) and this nice little bag. It has a pull string on it too. I am impressed with this bag that will double as a "sweat bag" (since we'll be wearing a lot more clothes up the canyon then we'll wear when we're running).

So it's all set out and ready to go. I'll update tomorrow with my results. I'm shooting for 2:10:00 (or better). It might be tough if it's too warm. But I'm giving it my all. After all, I'm in competition with my potential! Wish me luck!

156.8

Our race day is quickly approaching (Saturday). I'm keeping a close watch on the weather forecasts and it looks like it will be a nice day, with the possibility of winds. At least IF it is windy it should be a tail wind. I mean, don't most winds blow DOWN the canyon? That's what I'm banking on anyway.

Last year prior to this race, I blogged about the 2 women who are always on my mind when I run this race. And this year will be no exception because I've already started thinking about them. One of them I knew, and the other I never met. I'll briefly mention them again because I am sure when I blog about the race on Saturday that I'll mention their names because I feel their spirits as I am approaching the finish line.

The first one is someone I knew very well. She died in her early 40's. She had surgery and everything was supposed to go well except that after the surgery she got a blood clot. Sometimes these can be deadly and that was the case with Engia. Engia was one of those people who once you met, you remembered for the rest of your life. I don't know anyone who was more alive than Engia and it really bothered me when she died so young. She had a lot of struggles in her life but there wasn't 30 seconds of it that went by without her smiling or laughing. She was a special person but probably never knew it. Anyway, Engia was from Moab originally and one year when I was running the race, and approaching the finish line, I heard someone call out my name. Yep, it was Engia. Neither of us knew the other was going to be there. She just always sprung up in surprising places. She was just like that. Anyway, ever since she died a couple years ago, as I approach the finish line I still hear her call out to me. And as much as I like to pretend I don't have a soft side, I can't help but tear up a little.

The other person, I never met. But several years ago I was at the finish line, waiting for my sister to come in. The call came out that a runner went down. I could see someone about 200 yards from the finish line. I assumed they were fatigued and had fallen. Since my sister was a new runner, and I knew this distance would be hard for her, I feared she had fallen (ironically she did just that 10 feet from the finish line). So I decided I better go down and check it out. The paramedics ran to the site, I, having just run 13.1 miles long enough ago that I was starting to get stiff, just walked quickly. Once I got there, I could see that it was serious. It was hard to see the runner because she was surrounded by emergency personnel. I stared at the shoes and wondered if they looked like my sister's. Finally I asked someone what color of hair the victim had, it was blonde. My sister is a brunette. I relaxed. As they loaded the woman into the ambulance I caught a glimpse of her and immediately knew that it was not a good situation. She looked bad, very bad. I later found out that she collapsed and when the paramedics initially arrived she tried to get up and said "let me finish". Then her heart stopped and they were unable to revive her. She was also in her early 40's.

There is no doubt in my mind that these two women will be on my mind as I come into the finish line. The way the course is set up, there is one last (left) turn and the finish line comes into view, a couple blocks away. Once I make this turn, my fatigue will take a back seat to my thoughts of these women.

I do a lot of thinking when I run these longer distances, especially in a race. The more I can occupy my mind, the easier it is to keep running. Anyone who runs knows how your own mind can be your worst enemy when it comes to running. While one part of my mind is telling me how great it feels, the other part is telling me it wants to rest. I do my best to shut down that negative tape before it gets a chance to repeat itself.

I don't listen to music when I run. I know many do, and say they couldn't run without it, but for me it just doesn't work. But I still have my standard routine that I rarely deviate from during a long distance run.

First of all I thank God for His many blessings. I thank Him for the ability to run and for how magnificent the body is designed to be able to cover such distances. Then I ask for His protection (from stumbling, man or beast) during the run. In a race, I pray for all the other runners. I also pray for people I know who have concerns and problems. The next part may surprise anyone reading this because I also pray for all those who are battling weight problems. If I know you, I pray for you by name. If you've left any comments on my blog, you fall into that category. I may not know you personally, but I know your spirit and I intimately know your struggle.

Once I finish my prayer, or meditation with the Creator, I just let my mind wonder. It's amazing the things that pop in my mind and will occupy space for miles on end. I don't think there's a time I'm more creative than when I'm running. I can solve problems, write poetry, sing songs, and yes, sometimes blog, all while my body is busy carrying me down the road. Then it seems before I know it, I'm making that final left turn.

So whether we know one another, or are drawn together in the common struggles of weight loss or love of running, just know this: One way or another, we are together.

Note: My next post will be after arriving in Moab tomorrow evening.

155.6

I think this season of Biggest Loser is very different from prior seasons. I think they're tempting the contestants a lot more. I think that is good because they might as well find out what it's like to be in the "real world" while they still have the support to deal with it. But the thing I wonder is, why they don't give the contestants any psychological assistance while they are on the ranch. I mean, obesity is just the symptom of the disease. We can deal with a lot of diseases by just treating the symptoms, medical doctors do it all the time, but the best medicine is to cure the disease.

Now, having said that, I don't think there really is a "cure" for obesity. It's like some of us are going to have to deal with it, others won't and some will just straddle the fence. Again, I think it's all dealing with the symptoms.

If you think about it like this, then I guess it's no surprise that Suzy and Matt (second season winner & 3rd place) have packed on the pounds. I was surprised to see them in the commercial (the million pound thing). I felt bad for Suzy, trying to hide behind her child. I checked the Internet for some stats on how much they have regained but there wasn't anything really updated. The one site said Suzy was an 8 when they got married and was at a size 14, ready to lose it again. The shot I saw on TV last night makes me think she went in the wrong direction.

If just treating the symptom of obesity was effective, would Oprah weigh 200 pounds again? I caught a glimpse of her on TV the other day and I swear she's a lot heavier than in January when she acknowledged her weight gain and swore she was going to get it under control. It just isn't that easy. It isn't a matter of money, Oprah can attest to that, and it isn't a matter of support, desire, or will. Although all are useful tools in the journey, I think none are THE determining factor on whether or not we are successful.

I think losing weight, as difficult as it is, is easier that maintaining the loss. The only real difference is that in maintenance your clothes fit better (at least for awhile). After all, many have lost weight and statistically, few keep it off. So anyone who thinks life is going to change and maintaining a weight loss is going to be easy once they're arrived at their goal is in for a rude awakening.

But I honestly believe this is not hopeless situation. I think we can still control (the choice of )which statistic we will become, the "regainers" or the "maintainers". I think there is one key element to putting the symptom of obesity behind us once and for all. We just have to learn and ACCEPT that once we arrive at our goal weights, we are NOT done.

We are NEVER done.

The disease is not cured, even though the symptom(s) are no longer present, or at least observable to the casual observer. That's what they mean when they say "it isn't a diet, it's a life style" and that means FOREVER!

Is it fair that some of us have to walk the thin ice of weight loss and gain FOREVER? No, but guess what, get over it. Yep, that's what I said, "get over it". Life isn't fair. I think that's the first step. Get over it, deal with it, move on and claim success.

I don't want these words to be construed as something cruel. I think they're tough love words. Tough love for myself (and anyone reading this). I reached my goal weight of 155 in December of 2007. So I've "been there" for about 15 months. This is the longest I've ever kept weight off and I am very proud of that fact. I have lost and regained a 100 pounds loss in my prior years so I know what I am capable of. I know what can happen, seemingly in the blink of an eye. So I have to be on my toes because it can come back before I know it.

I have at least learned something this time around, and maybe one day I'll have to eat my words but I honestly think this time I can be successful in keeping within my goal weight. I learned that it never ends, it's never done. For these last 15 months I have continued to count my calories every day, weigh out my portions, and watch the scale. Some days I do it really well, some days just so-so, other days I fail miserably. But then the next day, I get up and do it all over again. And in the end, I have more "good" days than "bad" days. And I guess that's the whole secret.

156.4

Reading the comment Jinxxxxy left me got me to thinking. I am lucky that I have a running hubby. Quite a few of the people I know have running hubbies too. It does make things nice when the spouse understands what it means to run and can talk about it on the same level. Because no matter what, if a person doesn't LOVE running, they just don't understand.

The nice thing about a running spouse is that when we're figuring out where we're going to travel, there is no doubt we'll be running. There's no better way of learning about a new place than to run in it, to experience the sights, sounds, and smells of really being there. We have a U.S. map on the wall that we put marks on to indicate places we've run. We've run along Niagara Falls, amongst the Amish farmers in Pennsylvania, past the corn fields in Indiana, in the dark (under a full moon) at the Grand Canyon, along the Pacific Ocean in (California and Hawaii), in the worst humidity and heat Knoxville, Tennessee can offer (in a 10K), through California's majestic Redwoods and beautiful vineyards. We ran into strong headwinds along the Oregon coast, the rain soaked streets near Houston, the Arizona desert, a race in Las Vegas that was the dustiest run we've ever done, past the home of Star Bucks in Seattle, and many points in between. Once when I had to take 3 weeks off for foot surgery, we planned a trip to running's "holy ground', Eugene, Oregon, just so I could commemorate my return to running. Running has given me so much more than it's taken from me.

Sometimes we look for a race we can catch while we're in a certain area, other times we go to the place with the specific intention of running. Either way, the result is the same. Running is ingrained so deeply into our way of life that I often wonder what would happen if one of us was no longer able to run.

Having said that, the odd thing is that we haven't been life long runners. I literally woke up one day and felt that God spoke to me and said one word: "Run"! I hadn't been a runner before that and neither had spouse. But, it all changed, beginning that day, and it has been a blessing to us both ever since.

I'm nearly 53 and spouse is weeks short of turning 64. We plan on running for many more years. I remember this guy who ran Bryce Canyon the first time we did it. I'm not a fast runner, but I'm not the slowest either. I usually hang in the middle of my age grouping, sometimes I place in smaller races. But on this day, this guy came in ahead of me. That isn't so unusual, lots of guys run faster than their female counter parts. But this guy was 82 or 83. Now, that's what I'm talking about!

156.4

I guess I haven't mentioned that the race this Saturday is the Canyonlands Half Marathon. I checked and it will be our 7th year to run it. I'm planning on taking my spibelt with my cell phone in it so I should be able to get lots of photos. So many of the races in this area are through the mountain canyons that I forget that a lot of runners are racing in the more urban environments. Ah! Poor you! We have some of the most beautiful half (and full) marathons around. If you have never run down the canyon in a western state you need to try it. The scenery is so much better than looking at a bunch of buildings.

As beautiful as Moab is, our May race, Ogden Half Marathon, is even better. It is also down a canyon. But with Moab you still have a couple miles left once you exit the canyon. With Ogden, you have less than a mile left. The half marathon at Bryce Canyon is also a beautiful course but it has some serious down hill. The other 2 races are more gentle and don't beat you up. Moab has rolling hills, not much down hill actually. Ogden is a gentle downhill slope, but Bryce starts off with several miles of non-ending 8% downhill grade that will shred your quads in no time. But, the scenery is great! Another nice half course is the Top Of Utah Half Marathon. It has a full marathon that is 2 weeks later (with a great medal). My first marathon was the Top of Utah.

I like doing half marathons. I think it's the perfect distance. You can race it and still feel good afterwards, but more importantly, the training doesn't beat you up. We probably do about 6 half marathons each year. I can't even guess how many half marathons I've done. Sometimes I think I should see if I can go back through my log books and count them up. But if I did that, then I'd be tempted to work on some sort of a "streak" or something. So, I'll just take 'em as they come and just hope for a nice weather and a good shirt!

158

I just got back from a great 5 miler. My quads didn't bother me a bit and I also got to wear shorts! It was 54 degrees, mostly sunny, with about an 8 MPH "breeze". It was cool (cold) running into the wind but the other directions were great. And my pace was really good too, I just missed a PR by about 5 seconds. Oh what a difference a second makes!

I took photos of the run but when I got home and saw how they looked, there's no way I would post them! I was wearing my spibelt under my shirt, low on my hips, and it made me look like by abdomen was a 20 pound sack of potatoes (instead of 10). I hope I don't really look like that because if I do, it's time to take that 150 goal more seriously!! Anyway, it was a great run.

157.2

Laura - I know what you mean. That's why I posted it. Who'd have thought one resembles the other so closely? I really thought the esophagus was more "open", more like a hose or a straw. Now it makes sense that things get stuck in the throat. Anyway, I figured since (in the past) I posted the cat scan of my lungs and heart, I might as well post the throat as well. But don't worry, if I ever get a colonoscopy, I will not post that one!

Good news, my quads are less sore today! Maybe tomorrow I'll go for a run. If I didn't have a race a week from today I'd go for a run today but since it is just a week away, I better be more cautious. And speaking of the race, if the indications are correct (2 of the local forecasters), they're saying it will be plenty warm in Moab on Saturday. Possibly too warm, but at this point, I'll take it. I love, love, love the notion that I can run in shorts and feel the sun on my flesh!! The idea of sweat pouring down my back actually excites me right now. Because it's been a very long winter! Besides, in December I ran 13 miles in Hawaii at 83 degrees at probably close to 90% humidity so the dry heat will at least evaporate the sweat. All I have to do is make sure the quads are in good shape and I'll be good to go!

Ah! Racing season . . . it's almost here. . . I hope it's another good year!

My Gerd

Looks pretty gross, huh? And it's my throat!

5 Miler Report

Well, it still isn't shorts weather (34 degrees when we headed out)! How I long for the day I can just run in shorts and a singlet again! Anyway, as I said, the quads are still sore from Wednesday's 13 miler so I was really surprised that my pace today was really good. I thought I was rather slow until I checked my GPS at the end and had a decent pace. I guess I'll listen to these ailing quads, lather them up in Ben Gay and give 'em until Monday to recuperate. Yep, still wearing the jacket (and guess what, there's a vest under that jacket)!

Like Pam Reed told me once . . . just keep putting one for in front of the other, and don't stop!

156.8

I probably forgot to mention it yesterday, because I didn't know if it was "something" or "nothing" but my quads were sore. Now today, they're about the same. So I am officially confused. Is this a continuation of the quad issue I thought was behind me, or the result of missing a long run last week, or a combination of the two? Usually, a 13 miler would not cause me to be sore at all. But since I did just come through this "quad thing", perhaps it isn't the "usual". I guess time will tell. Anyway, we'll go for a 5 miler today and test things out. Maybe I'll update after the run.

I officially got booted out of the acid reflux study yesterday afternoon. So I need to stop in and return their stuff and get paid. I have to say this whole thing worked out well for me. I'll just follow up with my regular doctor. I think I'd do it again if it was for something that interested me. I got the diagnosis I was looking for and got paid for my time. Not a bad deal at all.

I suppose I better get ready to head out for a run and see what happens. That's the thing about running. You think it's going to be one way and it turns out completely different. You just never know until you lace up your shoes and get out the door!

155.4

This morning I decided I better go do my monthly weigh-in with Weight Watchers. The end of the month tends to creep up quickly. This month, I was able to resume weighing in - post breakfast and wearing my shoes. As you may recall, last month I had to go on an empty stomach and remove my shoes. Heck, I was so worried about going over the line that I considered giving my nose one hard blow before stepping on the scale. Whatever it takes! It's good to be back in this zone. As I took the card to the scale, I glanced down the column on it to see MORE than a year's worth of weigh-ins, all showing no-charge since I was within my goal range. Yea me!

This morning I've been scurrying around getting a bunch of stuff done. I almost forgot I was making a presentation to the church council, so I had to put that together. It's almost done. It wasn't a big deal, just had to gather some information and hand outs.

I'm working on my lap top right now and it seems so huge compared to my Acer, which I have pretty much used exclusively ever since I bought it. Once I'm done here today I probably won't turn the lap top on again until the end of the month when I have to prepare a financial report. I intentionally didn't install Quicken on the Acer and I'll need that for the report so I'll use my lap top again in a couple weeks.

I've cut back on the coffee, actually only by about a cup, but progress is progress! I think once it's warm it will be easier. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the Acid Reflux study to get medication to heal the erosion(s) in my throat. Then, I think I'll be dropped from the study. That's my understanding anyway. Actually, that's also my preference since I will have received everything I wanted to get out of the study, so it is a win-win situation.

Tomorrow we'll also go for a 5 miler. It should be a very nice day for it. The 7 day forecast is looking very nice, except for Sunday when it may rain. I am anxiously watching for a week from Saturday since that's the day of the race. I want it warm, but not too warm. Moab in March can be anything from snow to summer temperatures. Regardless, it's always freezing cold waiting up the canyon 2 hours (in the dark since the sun is blocked by the canyon walls) for the race to start. That's the bad part, with limited canyon access it takes time to haul 4,000+ runners to the start line. This will be my 7th or 8th time to run this race. It's sort of traditional. Having an early spring half marathon is what gets us out there running those long runs in the dead of a cold, snowy winter.

And on that note, I have things I still need to do so I better wrap this up!

Run Done

OK, that 13 miler is now in the rear view mirror. I was slower than I wanted to be, by about 30 seconds (per mile) but I'm not stressed about it since pace isn't a huge issue on my long runs, strength is more important to me and my legs, specifically my quads, felt pretty good. My "issue" was my oxygen intake. My cardio is rarely ever an issue, I've been running long enough that it just isn't an issue. And I've been doing weekly 13 milers (and longer) all winter long. So the fact I had cardio issues caught me off guard.

I felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen into my throat to take in my lungs. I guess it is either a residual thing from the scope yesterday, or a GERD issue (let me set my coffee down while I whine about this one) or just "one of those things". Anyway, I'm not real freaked out about it. I ran the distance.

It turned out that it was cold whenever we went certain directions, into a surprisingly steady breeze. The sun was out but it was still a bit cold, 30 degrees when we started. I will be so glad when I can finish a run without feeling like my legs were stored in a meat locker! So here's hoping the weather in Moab will be good in a week and a half.

On another note, I am so happy to have Jen as a follower!! Since I have a site counter at the bottom of my blog I know that I do have people stopping by. But it's nice to have an official follower! I'm looking forward to Jen's post on the Biggest Loser since she has met Jillian before and has insight to the workings of the show. And my gut instinct is that Jen is going to blog about when the 2 Black team guys switched over to Bob as a trainer. When I saw it happen, and saw how Bob just went along with it, I thought of Jen.

So, that's all for now!

155.2

Did you see The Biggest Loser last night? OMG, there were so many different dynamics going on there that I should have taken notes! But since I do have to do a long run today, I'm only going to comment on one thing and that was when the Black team won the 24 hours luxury reward. Talk about enabling! That whole group totally disregarded everything they've learned, tossed it aside and took one hell of a ride on the wild side! Over eating wasn't enough either, they had to drink and smoke too! I mean, what is up with that?

OK, it's sad but I totally understood what was happening. I've done the same thing myself, gone to lunch or dinner with a friend and, although individually neither of us would have a dessert, decide to "go down together" and have the dessert. I guess it's the crowd effect of dieting. Taking a vacation from the stress of thinking and worrying about food and calories. For anyone who thinks it's easy to lose weight on the BL campus, this should prove that it isn't, because they are still people with eating issues. People who have the benefit of other people and pressures acting as their "guards", stopping them from doing what they will have the freedom to do later. Sometime, we all have to learn how to discipline and control ourselves. And some of us need to learn it over and over again (um, that would be me).

Anyway, I have plenty to do so I can't get any further into the show today. It was a psychologist's dream show for sure.

I added 2 gadgets to my blog to make it easier to follow. I follow blogs by either adding them as one of my favorites and the link appears on my MSN mail page, or else I add them to my reader list on the Blogger dashboard. But since Jinxxxy requested, I thought I'd add the other 2 gadgets to my page. I hesitated to put the one on for "followers" because of the fear that no one would sign up and then it would just look sad, like I had no friends - ha! ha! So, I'm taking a leap here and counting on someone, somewhere to sign up.

As I mentioned, today is long run day. We have a sunny day, so rain or snow shouldn't be an issue. And, even better, no wind today either! You have no idea how happy I am about that. When I got up this morning it was 23 degrees and our high for the day is supposed to be 44 degrees. So I'm just waiting to get a few more degrees on the thermostat and we'll be headed out.

Since I haven't done a long run in 2 weeks, I'm anticipating that the 1.5 mile hill at the beginning is going to be harder than usual. But I gotta say, I've missed that hill! Our daily 5 mile route has an incline on part of it, but nothing like that calf burning, quad killing, hill. Yikes! Did I say quad killing? Yep, that's a leap of faith too. I'm thinking that I've had enough miles cut off from my usual weekly mileage that my quads should be pretty much back to normal. I mean, they better be, I've got a race next weekend and I want to run it well.

Speaking of races, my dentist called me last evening. He and wife are doing the local half marathon in May and had questions on training. We probably chatted for about 20 minutes or so. They're new runners so they needed lots of information. Of course, I could have gone on for hours! Well, you runners know how it is.

Anyway, I need to move along now, I'll update later how the run went.

"The Plan" (and why did I put that in quotes?): 13 miles, strong (God willing) with no quad issues.

155.8 - Scope Results

Dx: Grade A esophagitis in the gastro-esophageal junction

What that means is I have erosive regions in my throat from GERD, but it is not the worst case, (which would be a Grade D). So that's good. I also asked about my hernia theory and the doctor said no hernia. So I guess it's a funky fat roll. Drats - I was in favor of the hernia!

Because the case studies for grades A and B are already closed (full), I probably will not be included in the rest of the study. That's fine by me because I got what I wanted out of the study. So I go back on Friday when I'll start on medication. It's something (can't remember the name) that is supposed to be better than Nexium and I can take it in the morning and then eat right after. No waiting an hour (much more convenient). The medication should heal the esophagitis. So, I got the treatment I wanted, at no cost to me (which wasn't a very big deal since we have 2 insurances we pay very little out of pocket but I get a thrill just knowing it was free), a $25 gift certificate to Walmart, and $100 for my time. A pretty good deal I think.

Since I was fasting for the scope, I stopped by my regular doctor's office and gave blood so he can check my cholesterol. I have an appointment in 2 weeks so that way I'll have the results by then so we can discuss it. Usually during my doctor appointment we just talk about running (he runs too) but I imagine we'll find a minute to mention my cholesterol results too - ha! ha!

It appears the snow has moved out of our region so HOPEFULLY this was the last winter snow storm. We've gotten snow as late as June, but once it warms up and stays warm it isn't anything more than a bump in the road. The long range (7-day) forecast indicates it is warming up nicely. We're planning on a long run tomorrow. I MUST run at least 13 miles (and run it well) since I have a race in a week and a half. I need it not just physically, but mentally as well. Actually, maybe even more mentally than physically.

Well, I have a piano lesson in a little bit so I guess that's it until I report on the long run tomorrow.

My Scientific Experiment

Oh, I must be cracking up! I decided to do a "scientific experiment" this morning to determine the effects of coffee on blood pressure and pulse. I began with my initial reading, then began drinking coffee, about 4 1/2 cups according to the coffee pot. The results:

Initial reading at 10:53 a.m. was 118/72 (pulse 51)

11:05 reading 127/70 (pulse 56)

11:14 reading 119/70 (pulse 61)

11:16 finished drinking the coffee, waited 10 minutes for next reading

11:26 123/78 (pulse 54)

Final reading (I mean how long can I dink around with this "scientific experiment"?)

11:33 126/73 (pulse 53)

OK, I admit, I didn't think the final reading would be higher, even though the pulse reading is almost back to normal. I might have to take another reading.

The really final reading, because I need to do SOMETHING this morning (ain't retired life grand?):

11:40 127/78 (pulse 54)

Now what do I make of this? Hell, I don't know, my degree is in Criminal Justice so I don't know a thing about it. I guess they only thing I can say for sure is that this experiment proves, once and for all, that I'm bored as hell with cold, snowy weather!!!!!

OK, one last reading at 11:46: 111/78 (pulse 54).

156 & Not Sure

It's cold, wet, and snowing outside, so I'm not sure what is going to happen in terms of getting a run in today. My race is less than 2 weeks away and I didn't do a long run last week. These are not ideal training conditions - too long to taper. It's critical that I get a long run in this week. It looks like I should be able to later in the week, but I get nervous when things get down to the wire like this and there's no wiggle room to account for any last minute problems. Any time I have 2 weeks in between long runs I can feel it. Drats!

Tomorrow is my scope. I'm not sure what they'll find. I wonder how far down it goes and if they can confirm my hernia suspicion. I'm not sure what will happen with the study since my symptoms have pretty much vanished into thin air. In hindsight, I think that the symptoms leaving and my "religious" (during Lent) tracking of calories into FITDAY coincide so I think just eating a bit less has something to do with the GERD not being bad. That's my current thought trend but as always, it is subject to change.

My weight seems to be stuck, back and forth of 6 - 8 tenths. I'm not sure what to do about it. My current thought is to just remain the same and once I get back to my regular weekly running mileage just let that bump me off the plateau. I'm not in a hurry to hit 150, I just want to head in that direction and get there sometime. According to my original target date (a "soft" target date at best), I'm 1.4 pounds behind the curve. But the reality is that I'm coming out of winter and weigh 1 pound over my goal weight. I'm not complaining about that for a minute!

Well, I'm not sure what I'm doing today. I know it would be nice if I did some speed work. Of course, it would be nice if there wasn't snow on the track. So I'm not sure how that whole thing is going to resolve itself. Speed work on the "dreadmill"? I'm pretty sure that sucks!

156.6

Nothing to say, so I'll say nothing.

Good Time!

155.8

I'm just sitting here enjoying a couple cups of coffee (OK, half a pot) and updating my various stops on my computer and the Internet. First of all, I entered my breakfast into FITDAY as well as updated my weight. I'm almost on target for my 150 pound goal, within a few tenths anyway. Hopefully a run later today will push me more in that direction.

I didn't run yesterday because of the heel situation. I am happy to report that today it (they) feel(s) much better. I think wearing shoes and running will be tolerable. I'm just going to wait until it warms up a bit this afternoon before we head out. Maybe this would be a good time to point out how nice it would be if my friend Laura would install a weather station at her house that could be remotely accessed by my computer. Then I would know the EXACT weather conditions, on my 5 mile route. Perhaps I can convince one of her children to do it as a science project . . . hmmmmm, I see a new angle here.

As I said, I'm drinking my coffee. I don't drink coffee because I like the taste, I drink it because of the effect it has on my body. It warms me up. I am cold, without relief, for so many months of the year that once I discovered coffee would warm me up, from the inside, I decided to start drinking half a pot a day. (Anything worth doing is worth doing to excess, right?) Anyway, the coffee pot really says 5 cups but it's only 2 of my sized cups. And it's starting to work because I'm breaking a sweat. I usually don't break a sweat but I did drink a Mountain Dew an hour ago so perhaps I'm a bit too caffeinated this morning. As a river of sweat falls down my body and I remove my robe because it's so damn hot, I do think this might be the case. But it does feel good to be warm for once.

Anyway, once I do the FITDAY, I e-mail my BFF Ellen, then post something in my blog. As soon as I take a shower I'm headed to the commissary, then this afternoon, like I said, out for a run. The quads are feeling better so I'm thinking any time now I'm going to run and the thought will pop into my mind that they feel normal again. Oh, I have missed feeling normal in my running. I've also missed my mileage. It has been low for several weeks now. Not a good thing with a race breathing down my neck in a couple short weeks.

Anyway, that's my day so far. Now I really need to get into the shower because the sweat is just pouring down my back . . . .a very unusual situation for me. But it does feel good to be warm, even if it is only short lasting.

Don't forget to change your clocks!

Check This Out

I just checked out Jen's blog and she posted a couple of videos that are worth checking out.

156.6 - Public Service Announcement

Anyone who knows me, knows I have this thing about dry heels. I think heels are a neglected part of the body and when ladies start wearing sandals, they need to do a heel check. Because sometimes it's just too gross to put out in public. So anyway, the local news did this thing on the PediEgg awhile back. I'd been wondering about it but the report indicated it worked really well. So I bought one and tried it out. I was (and still am) very p[lease with how it instantly turns dry calloused heels into nice smooth heels. I've been enjoying my soft heels every night when I go to bed and feel them against the sheet or the opposite foot. So the other day, I got the idea to give my heels a mini-treatment every couple of days, just to keep them smooth and soft. I figured once every couple of days I'd take about 5 seconds to run the egg over them and "touch up" my heels.

Damn was that a bad idea or what? This morning my heels are so tender that it hurts to wear slippers. So I put a thick layer of this Mary Kay night balm on them in hopes of protecting them against my socks. I mean, I am going to try and go running but I'm not sure what will happen to these much too smooth heels. So, a word to the wise, the PediEgg works really well, but don't go over board. Even if you think you're not being aggressive, you might be. Tread lightly!

PS - Maybe I can use this as a "training tool" to move my heel strike from my heel to more mid-foot. Actually, as sore as these puppies are I might have to tip toe for 5 miles. Ouch!

156

Drats, I was so enjoying being in a "five number" of my weight. Isn't it odd how much power we give a number? I guess because we "have" to measure ourselves against the rest of the world, that is the only way to do it, at least that's what we learn at an early age. In school it's a grade, in the working world, it's a salary, and in our personal life, it's a number, an IQ, a dress size, a weight. Really, I think there's no getting away from it. All we can do is choose not to let it have too much power over us. Not let a number determine who we are, or our value as a human being.

But it is what it is (I say that alot don't I?) and I like a lower number more than a higher number. Even if it is only 2 tenths.

Yesterday, I had my "breath test". It's part of the study on GERD that I'm in (for acid reflux). They test for the H. Pylori bacteria in your stomach. It's the one that causes ulcers. I'd be surprised if I had it, even though I do have an ulcer history. My ulcers are from NSAID's so if they find anything, like I said, I'd be surprised. Next week I get the scope. I'm not sure if they only scope the throat or go all the way into the stomach. Hopefully, they'll go all the way in so I can know once and for all if I have any more ulcers starting up. Seems all I need to do is look at some Ibuprofen and I'm having stomach issues. So, it would be good to know. Plus, I'm suspecting I have a hernia. I'm not sure if the scope will detect anything like that or not. If it doesn't, I have an appointment with my regular doctor a week later for my cholesterol check up and I'll ask him about it then.

It looks like our long run is going to be postponed until Wednesday of next week. The weather looks much better and most likely, as much as I hate to admit it, my quads will appreciate it. They're much better, not quite 100 percent, but drastically better than they were. It's disappointing that I ran 13 miles strong all winter long and then after I bumped it up a bit it's going to mess me up just in time for my race (which is less than 3 weeks away). So when we do our long run, it HAS to be a good one, not only for my physical well being but for my mental and psychological well being too.

OK, I suppose I need to get some things accomplished today and it's not going to happen if I keep playing on the computer. BTW, for the record, I still love my Acer netbook. It's so convenient!!

The First Run in Shorts for 2009

It's all good!

155.8

I'm going for a 5 miler this morning. My quads are feeling better so I am really hopeful that this run will be the one where I feel like myself again. The weather is nice, sunny and much warmer than usual. It's rather windy but if it's warm enough, I won't let the wind take away from my joy.

My eating has been on track for quite some time now and I am so happy about that! I think focusing on getting down to 150 is a good thing. Winter is so difficult when it comes to trying to be active. I guess if you can tolerate cold it's OK, but I just can't tolerate the cold. We're kept up our running through the winter, but other than that, I feel like I've been in hibernation on my recliner, with a blanket over me, to try and retain some warmth. Oh, but things will be changing soon (after this next snow storm that is supposed to come in tonight and again on Monday). There is a light in the tunnel!

Good Hair Day

Ah! No more gray hair! Nothing like a new color job to make a girl feel "springy"!

156

It's a beautiful morning but according to the weather man, that is going to be changing and winter is coming back by the weekend. Drats!

I am still convinced that my diagnosis on the quads is right. Everything is pointing in that direction, and I'm looking forward to running tomorrow because if I am right, it'll be even better than yesterday. Oh happy day!! After all, I have a race in less than 3 weeks!!

I'm getting my hair colored this morning. I put it off for a long time now so it will be good to get rid of all the gray hair. I'm still planning on growing it out some. Shocking since I've had it ultra short for so long. We'll see how long I last.

My eating has been very good as of late. I've put everything into the FITDAY (PC version)program so I'm enjoying seeing how I stack up in terms of nutrition. Turns out my fats are very low, no surprise there, and my Vitamin D and calcium are low too. But supplements take care of that so nothing to fret over. My diet is actually healthier than I thought. Using FITDAY has been good for me. It's enough hassle that it stops me when I think about eating something when I'm not really hungry. And I don't want to eat as much junk because it will really mess up the pretty little charts and graphs that the program calculates for me. I'm trying to keep the data honest - "garbage in, garbage out" as they say. Hey - whatever it takes, right?

I've pretty much decided to make a push for 150 pounds. I'm tired of bouncing back and forth around my goal weight of 155 and if I can get to 150, that gives me more of a "safety net". I think I can maintain 150 as well as 155. Besides, with spring on the horizon, now's the time.

Something Weird

Something odd is happening . . . my posts aren't automatically showing up on my blog. If they still don't appear, just click on the date on the left to pull up the current post.

156 - 2nd Post

Yep, a second post today. Maybe I just like writing my weight down today - ha! ha! I went for a 5 miler this morning and FINALLY noted some improvement in my quads (not recovered, just improved). So, after lots and lots of thought, and a brief review of my running log, I have made the decision that I strained my quads. Like many muscle strains and tendinitis injuries, it takes about 3 weeks to recover. And guess what, I'm finally noticing improvement as I near the 3 week mark. So, that is my official diagnosis and I'm sticking to it.

My plan is to either NOT do a long run this week (in which case I will run the long run hill;, just cut back after topping the hill and keep it under 7 miles) or, and this is the unlikely one, if the weather permits, do a long run on Friday, a full week after my last long run. Otherwise, I'll just do 5 milers and maybe one 7 miler through the week.

On today's run I checked several temperature sites and concluded that it was 52 degrees at my running route. So I wore capris (I would have gone with shorts had the sun been out but it is totally overcast and threatening rain). It was my first time to wear capris this year. Unfortunately, when we got to the route, the temperature was only 46. So it was a bit chilly. Luckily, I wore a wind vest (in case it rained, to keep my core dry). So I didn't die from frostbite and my quads, though not 100%, did much better. And if it couldn't get any better, I'm enjoying a great cup of coffee. All is right in my little world.

156

I probably shouldn't say anything since this thought is so fresh on my mind, but sometimes when I read other (weight loss) blogs, I get so aggravated with the author that I just want to shake them! I am specifically thinking about a couple of people who are near or over the 300 pound point. Now, as you can imagine, there are a lot of unique problems, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, as well as physically, that go with this sort of situation. But I even get frustrated "listening" to a couple of them as they talk about what they want/need, then sit paralyzed in fear to do anything about it. Yes, I know this is a complex problem but again, I just think of Meryl Streep's words of wisdom: "The best way to get started is to get started". I guess Nike said it best, "Just Do It"!

OK, I half feel guilty even saying such things. I mean, I SHOULD be more understanding, more compassionate, more empathetic. Having battled food and weight issues myself (don't make me post that 230+ pound photo again), I know how hard "just doing it" can be. But even I told myself that I either needed to try harder or lower my standards.

I guess I get frustrated with some people because they have everything they need to be successful, they just don't know it. Do we need to call for an intervention for obesity? If it's OK for drugs and alcohol, why not obesity? I think it's the same disease, just a different drug of choice (with a lot more enablers). The obese person says they already KNOW they're obese, but the drunk knows he's a drunk and still an intervention seems to be the thing to do.

Oh, we are a complex species aren't we? I guess all I can say is that we can do it, if we choose to do it. But really, we do need to stop talking about it and live the choices we make. Is that being mean? I guess somebody had to say it.

156.8

I swear today just felt more "springy" than yesterday. I even wore a short sleeved sweater to church and amazingly did not freeze to death. A sure sign of spring!

I'm thinking that I might pass on a long run this week in hopes of getting the quads back to normal. We went for a 5 miler yesterday and my time was fine but about 2 miles into it, my quads were feeling heavy and fatigued . . . again. Now this has been going on awhile and in many ways I think my quads have gotten more rest than work so . . . what's the deal? On the other hand, I did do some things in my training that would probably account for the problem. I increased my long run, as well as turned my regular 5 miler into a 7 miler with some speed work mixed in. Additionally, a few of the long runs didn't have a week's time between them. So these things could cumulatively account for some quad issues. But, I have a race in 3 weeks and after training all winter it needs to be a cake walk, not a gut-out!

I was glad my weight was down a bit this morning. Hopefully, it will stay going in that direction for awhile. Gee, I say this as if I have no control over what numbers appear on the scale. Something I noticed in my FITDAY program (PC version, not sure if Internet version has this feature) is that at the end of the week, it gives me an average for the week. I stayed within my calories 5 out of 7 days, pretty good I thought, until I looked at my average calories per day over the week's period and saw that it was 1600 calories per day. Not a real high number but not a number low enough to really lose any weight either. So it was enlightening. I'm going to keep an eye on that number and see if it can help influence my choices, particularly on the days I eat extra calories. I think I tend to forget when I start with a "clean slate" the next morning that my body still needs to process the extra calories from the prior day. It all adds up. Yeah, I keep forgetting that.