158.4

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Over a month ago we bought a giant bag of candy from Costco and I'm happy to report that it has not been on my mind and I never was tempted to open it. Hubby opened it last night. It's an assortment of about 10 different candy bars. Hubby is also trying to lose a few pounds so I was interested in seeing what he was going to do after opening the bag. He surprised me when he sat down and calculated the number of calories in each different candy bar. The results were somewhat surprising. So if anyone is tempted to eat a bunch of candy, I suggest you do the same thing. Then you'll be able to make a really informed decision.

My candy treat tonight will be the chocolate covered pretzels I got from Costco. They're in 100 calorie packages. You can break the pretzel in half and let it melt in your mouth. That way it takes a lot of time and you feel very satisfied with just 2 pretzels.

As you can see the scale went up today just as I predicted. At least I'm no longer dehydrated! Oh well, day by day and ounce by ounce.

Last night there was a TV show on PBS (NOVA) that talked about taking 12 unlikely candidates (70 pounds over weight, prior heart attack, 60 years old, etc) and training them to run a marathon. It talks about the effect of exercise on the body and how the body adapts. I think it is a wonderful show, even if you don't want to ever run. At the end you will understand why exercise is so good for you and that it is the best thing you can ever do for yourself. It's very inspirational so you might want to record it! See schedule at www.PBS.org

158

A new low today! My excitement is tempered by the fact that I think I'm a bit dehydrated from yesterday's 10 miler and I fully expect to be up a bit by tomorrow when hopefully I will have replaced some more fluids. It's been a long time since I've gotten so thirsty from a run. I drank all evening trying to replace fluids. I had to get up 4 times during the night to pee. And I'm still thirsty. It was warmer than we planned but we did have water with us so it's not like we got real thirsty on the run. So I'm not sure what caused that.

I'm going to lunch with a girlfriend today. I think I'm going to order something other than the usual. I'm getting tired of the usual and need to spice things up a bit. I always order from Applebee's Weight Watcher's menu so I can be safe. But I'm really wanting a salad, nothing extravagant, not a binge, just something different (which is so unusual for me because generally I can eat the same thing every day for years at a time - it drives hubby nuts).

So that's the state of me for today. I'm taking the day off from running and re hydrating.

159

Sometimes I think it's a curse (or at least very stupid) to have a scale that goes down to 2 tenth increments. It's just occurring to me this morning that I'm probably on a plateau. After all, I went on the tough hill run on Saturday, then went for a 5+ mile hike yesterday. This is in addition to my regular running during the week. I ran 20 miles last week, stayed within my calorie limitations and the scale still wobbles back and forth between a few ounces. Well, it's digital so it doesn't actually wobble but you get my point.

OK, now I bitched about it, so I'm done. It isn't worthy of any more of my time. To spend more time on it would be to forget all I've accomplished. After all, this time last year I would have sworn my eyes would pop out of my head from joy if I weighed as much as I do today.

In just a bit I'm headed out for a long run (10 miler). It's a perfect day for it and a great way to start the week.

158.8

I've been doing good on exercise this weekend. Saturday we went for a hill run. It's a real workout because we live at the foot of the mountain, on the bench, and we ran around our neighborhood. Just over 4 miles, most of which was up hill. I was so pleased to see I improved a lot since the last hill workout. Then today we went for a 5 mile hike. Tomorrow is long run day so it should be a 10 miler.

In terms of my eating, it's pretty much the same ol' same ol'. It's a plan I can live with and it works out well for me. I did give myself a treat and had some frozen yogurt after our hike but I included it in my total calories for the day. We bought some organic apples at Costco and I swear they are the best tasting apples I've had in years. I also bought some of their 100 calorie chocolate candy bars (wafers and chocolate covered pretzels) so I could enjoy a chocolate treat on Halloween and not derail my plan. Other than that, just keep on keepin' on!

159.2

There's nothing I dislike more than being up on my official weigh in day. Even though it's only about half a pound, 8 measly ounces, I still don't like it. That's the thing about being so close to my goal. The weight loss is ever so slow now. But if I stop whining for a minute, I'm reminded of something else. I've done all this without having to drop under 1500 calories a day. That's almost like cheating in a way. I haven't "suffered" during this diet. I haven't gone to bed hungry. As a matter of fact, I really haven't "suffered" at all. That's why I'm so confident that I'll be able to keep this weight off.

Sure, I've had to learn how to make good choices and not give into cravings and impulses, but I haven't cut my calories back to some ridicules amount. That's because I told myself when I started that I wouldn't do anything to lose any more weight than I could keep off. Because this yo-yo crap is over. Once and for all!

The flip side is that it's been a slow process. And I know I've said this before, but it bears repeating, that's okay. No matter how long it takes, as long as the overall direction on the weight loss graph is downward, that's okay. It really is, so don't forget it.

159.4

I don't have much time this morning. Tomorrow is my official weigh in day so I hope I drop down a bit so I don't have an upward line on my weight loss graph. You know how I love my weight loss graph!

I went to the doctor yesterday and he says my ailing shoulder is all soft tissue, inflammation. He doesn't think I tore anything, just something about bone passing over tissue blah . . . blah . . .blah. He said to give it another 2 weeks and it should be better. Anyway, I'm wondering if between the shoulder and long run that might be why I'm up a tad. Wait! Reality check . . . I'm up less than a pound from last week. We're talking ounces here. I'm officially removing this from my list of concerns.

I'm getting some blood work done so I'm interested to see how my weight loss affects my triglycerides, cholesterol, etc. I'm fasting right now so I won't get the results till next week.

I ran 5 miles yesterday so we're taking today off. Actually, we're getting ready to head to Park City to hit the outlets. My running shorts are way too big and I need some short sleeved running tops too. Such a nice problem to have!

I have to get going so I can give blood and eat some breakfast. Wish me luck in shopping!

160.2

What happened this morning? I'm not sure but I know it's a normal fluctuation and will eventually come back down. Actually it wasn't a huge shock because I stepped on the scale last night and it showed my weight was up so unless a miracle would come during the night I knew what morning would bring.

The photo is of me, 2 brothers and mom. As you can see I started out chunky. Chunky with a pixie haircut. Oh, what challenges I had ahead of me!

You may notice I changed a few things about my blog. I was checking some other blogs last night and some of them have a lot of readers. One blog had 105 comments on just one post! Anyway, I do appreciate every visitor to my blog and I started feeling a bit guilty that mine was so blah looking so I tried to mix it up a little. I posted a bunch of old photos on my other blog so stop by there if you're interested in seeing them http://www.alottathought.blogspot.com/ I'm trying to decide if I should combine my two blogs so if you have an opinion, please take the survey in my side bar.

My plan is to get a 5 miler in this morning but my shoulder is really bugging me so I'm not sure if I'll be able to do the whole thing. I'm going to head out in just a bit so I guess I'll know soon. I'm going to the doctor to get my shoulder checked out. I just can't believe I'm going to have to explain how I hurt it. I told hubby I was going to lie and say he pulled my shoulder. At least it isn't as stupid as the truth - ha! ha!

Gotta dash for now. I hope everyone eats healthy today. Oh, and remember to GET SOME EXERCISE!

158.8

After running 10 miles yesterday, I went up 4 tenths of a pound today. I can't complain because there have been plenty of times that I'd go up 2-3 pounds the day after a long run. I think staying hydrated has a lot of do with it. My theory, which I suspect might even be good science, is that when the body has to repair micro tears to muscles and tissues (resulting from a hard exercise effort), that it recruits more fluids to do it. So I try to really drink a lot of fluids after a long run. I seem to retain less water that way.

Anyway, my challenge after I do a long run, is to stay within my calorie limitations. A few hours after I finish running I have a strong DESIRE to eat much more than I should. Actually, this is one of the reasons I probably gained weight, because I not only gave into that desire, but I really over did it. I'd carb load before a long run and "replenish" carbs after. I probably took in 5 times more (at least) than I burned.

So when I started my diet (March 30), I had to figure out how I could have enough calories to sustain my running, yet be low enough that I could lose weight. That's where the 1500 calories a day came from. It's worked well for me.

This morning I went to a Mervyn's sale and I tried on some tops that were on clearance. I put on this one particular top and I almost went into shock. The image reflected back to me in the mirror was thin. I couldn't help but smile and admire myself. I thought peoples' jaws would drop if they could see me right now. I was very pleased. So, did I buy the top? Nope, it was too form fitting (and low cut)and I would never feel comfortable wearing it. But it looked good. Maybe next time.

158.4

A new low . . . I'll take it! I was thinking about something today. Actually, it's a conversation I was having with my Diet Buddy. I write my weight down 2 times each day. I write it first thing in the morning, right after I weigh, in my running log. The log sits on my armoir, which sits just below my weight loss graph (posted in my bedroom directly above the armoir). The other place I write my weight is on this blog. Anyway, I'd guess that at least half the time (especially for this site) when I type in my weight, I make the middle number a 7 or 8 instead of a 5. Now what I take this to mean is that I'm not used to weighing what I weigh. I still see myself as weighing much more.

When I take my clothes out of the dryer, particularly my pants, and I go to put them on a hanger, they look a lot smaller. A number of times I think that they've shrunk and I probably won't be able to wear them until I lose more weight. Then I try them on and they fit fine. So this tells me I haven't adjusted to my new body image. I wonder how long it takes to adjust to a new body image? Did I adjust right away when I gained weight? Was I fatter than I thought? Or did I think I was fatter than I was?

I suspect that I thought I was fatter than I was. The reason I think this is because the body types I considered as similar to mine were, in reality, much heavier than I was. I was identifying with women who weighed over 200 pounds. I'd guess in the 220-230 area. Which is interesting because that's my lifetime high weight too. Did I never leave that body image?

Some people who see me now refer to me as "skinny". Well, anyone with 2 eyes can see I'm not skinny. I know what they are referring to is that compared to what I used to look like, this is a much thinner body. The difference in weights is what they mean by skinny, not literally skinny. But because they use the word "skinny" and I know it is false, I know I can't rely on their view of my body size.

One time, when I weighed 155 pounds before, this person I work with said something that really spoke to me. She said, "If I walked into a room and looked around, and saw you for the first time ever, my impression would be that there is a person who is not over weight, just a normal, thin looking person". She probably has no idea, but her words really helped me adjust to my body image. Now that I'm just a couple pounds (54.4 ounces exactly) away from that weight, I feel like I'm much bigger than I was then. I really want to know and understand what my body image is to the rest of the world.

I'm 5'9", so I'm taller than most women. That means 110 pounds on me would look skinny. I mean really skinny, not just comparatively skinny. I think 130 pounds would look nice. I weighed 130 when I was in my early 30's, just divorced. But I didn't get that low by doing anything healthy either. But I sure look good in pictures when I look at them now! I don't think I could maintain that weight. At least I couldn't back them. It was the words of my co-worker, still echoing in my head, than made me pick 155 pounds as my weight goal. It's reasonable, it's healthy, it's within a normal range for the weight charts and BMI, it's normal looking. Isn't that what I want?

I guess I'm just rambling on about this. But I suspect some of you may know exactly what I'm talking about. How can we really know if our body image is exaggerated or realistic? Any ideas?

159.2

Well, no changes to report today. Tomorrow's our 10 miler so hopefully a day or two after that I'll see a change on the scale. I'm patient . . . it'll come.

I think my body's rearranging itself again. I put on a pair of pants that I thought fit perfectly and realized they are big on me. I just bought them recently so that was a surprise. I also caught a look at my leg in the mirror yesterday and noticed a change. A muscle was showing that hadn't shown itself before. So I know things continue to shuffle around.

I'm so glad that I had my body measurements from when I started my dieting, otherwise I would never have been able to quantify the many changes I've gone through over the past 6 months. I think that it's important to do anything and everything you can to keep up the excitement and optimism when trying to lose weight. Actually, I think it's the same with maintaining weight loss too.

When Beck talks about giving oneself credit for the things we do right, I think that focus fades off after awhile. That's unfortunate because I think it's really beneficial to keep it up. Focusing on what we do right helps change our way of thinking and to reinforce our new healthier selves. So to that end, here's what I'm doing right:

1. I haven't binged in I don't remember how long. It's been many months. I think I haven't totally lost complete control since I've been on my eating plan (March 30) and that was early on.

2. I write down all the calories I eat (except for my monthly "scheduled cheat" which is a loose estimate).

3. I stay focused on the benefits of having lost weight, not on what I've given up or missed out (in terms of food choices).

4. I continue to weigh (or otherwise portion) out all my food.

5. I plan out my meals ahead of time.

6. Things that used to tempt me no longer do (for the most part) because I exercise my "resistance" muscle on a regular basis.

7. (This one is a biggie, huge actually) I'm in control of what I eat.

As I listed these things I realized I'm doing a lot of things better than I used to. I guess I've been doing them long enough that these new habits and ways of thinking are now becoming my new "normal". Wow - now that's progress!!!

159.2

Up a titch today. No big deal. That's the nice thing about being able to stay within the parameters of my program (meaning 1500 calories a day). I don't have to worry about little fluctuations, they take care of themselves.

Normally I'd be going on a long run on Monday (tomorrow) but I have the whole day tied up so it's postponed until Tuesday. It should be a beautiful day for it. I feel really good when I run. Unfortunately, my body won't allow me to run every day. However a benefit of my weigh loss has been that my running has improved and it isn't as hard on my body as it used to be. But I still need to take a day or 2 to allow my body to heal from a long run. Although I feel fine after running 10 miles, I know there is damage to muscles and ligaments and they need some time to recover before I head out again. I've had enough injuries over the years to heed the advice to get recovery before stressing my body again. But if I could, I'd run every day. Sometimes even twice a day.

I haven't always been a runner. I started running about 5 years ago, maybe 6, I'm not certain. I never ran before, unless a dog was chasing me. And then I considered submitting to a bite, just to avoid running. But one day that all changed (it's a God thing). I started running for 2 minutes at a time. I couldn't go any longer than 2 minutes and that about killed me. Then I got the idea to run a 10K, so I did. Then I got the idea to run a half marathon. I ended up injured and had to postpone that for a year, but when I ran the half marathon (13.1 miles) the next year, I followed up 2 weeks later and ran a full marathon (26.2 miles). So I guess you could say running became my thing. Who'd have thought?

I'm not very fast but that's okay. For me it's about distance, not speed. Although I have since decided that marathon training is just too much work, so I stay with the half marathons. I think 13 miles is the perfect distance. Just the fact that this 51 year old body is out there beating the pavement says everything I need to say. I run for me, no one else.

I guess running is really the only form of exercise I get. I suppose that on one hand that should be enough. It's a good calorie burner and you can't beat the cardio workout from a run. But sometimes I feel like I need to do something on my down days. Every time I've tried adding something, even something as simple as going for a walk, somehow it interferes with my running and I give it up. Maybe that's the next thing I need to concentrate on, some cross training.

I'm not sure what got me chattering on and on about running. Probably because anyone who knows me knows how passionately I feel about it. I love to talk about running and to encourage others to start running. Besides, I've seen a lot of old people in nursing homes, sitting in wheel chairs, and not one of them ever told me they were there because they were too active. So my goal is to stay healthy, maintain a healthy weight for life, and stay active. Do you have a goal, and a plan to make it happen?

158.7

I know this is just splitting hairs but . . . this morning I weighed in at 158.8. However, I was wearing PJ's that added 2 tenths to my weight (actually 6 tenths but only 2 tenths over the old PJ's weight). If you recall, I was trying to decided what to do with this fact since I am tracking my stats. Do I deduct it or not? Gotta keep the data accurate, eh? Still unable to decide, I split the difference and went with 158.7. Is that kinda dumb or what? I wouldn't have bothered BUT today is my "official" weigh in day and I like to see that downward trend on my graph!

Speaking of graphs, I think even when I reach my goal I'm going to continue plotting my graph. That way if there are any upward trends I'll spot that right away too. Besides, the graph only takes seconds to update since I have it on a spreadsheet in Excel. I just wish I could figure out how to print that graph on my blog. Any advice?

158.8

I weighed myself 3 times this morning because it caught me by such a surprise to be down over half a pound. That means (for today at least), I'm only 3.8 pounds away from my goal. WOW, that is just too shocking! I hope it stays the same (dare I say even less) tomorrow for my "official" weigh in.

I received 2 comments yesterday on my Thanksgiving Pizza idea. Thanks ladies! I think this is probably what we're going to do. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea. Besides, I like the notion that it totally runs AGAINST the idea that on this particular day a certain menu is required. Because if there's one thing I've learned on this journey it's that holidays and celebrations are NOT about the food! So I might as well just go with what works for me.

Hubby and I were talking about this as we were walking back to the car after our 5 mile run yesterday. He's really been wanting the pizza ever since I mentioned it. I agreed that we can have pizza, whatever kind he wanted, just not to excess. He said he wanted a double crust stuffed pizza (obviously he didn't hear the word excess). I told him okay but we wouldn't get a giant one because I didn't want a lot of left overs. (Now at this point I have to interject that he has proclaimed himself to be dieting too. In fact he has articulated specific weight goals. But he's pretty much a virgin when it comes to this dieting stuff.)

Anyway, he then goes on to suggest we can eat the left overs during the week. Obviously he has no idea who he's trying to fool here. I told him that for me to eat high calorie food several times in a week was not an option and that one slice of pizza was probably more than half my calories for a whole day. (I'm trying to be a good example of food and portion choices here but his taste buds are fully in control of him now). At this point he's still remaining calm but I can see he's like a drowning man (and he knows it). I reminded him that he has the option of eating anything he wants, whenever he wants, but if we did pizza for Thanksgiving, it would not be a huge one.

The thing is, he's professed his desire to lose weight for as long as I've been on this diet (almost 7 months now). He gladly accepts the healthy meals I cook and subsidizes them with dark chocolate candy bars, PB&J, crackers, granola, and a host of other high calorie foods. It's his option, it hasn't bothered me (much). The only thing I've forbidden from entry into the house was chips (I'm only human). But what has bugged me is that as he sits there eating an English muffin with peanut butter & jelly heaped on it that he tells me he he's going to be down to a specific weight by a certain date (at first it was his birthday, then Memorial Day, then 4th of July, then vacation, then Labor Day, I think you get the picture.) Anyway, that REALLY bugs me! He talks the talk but didn't walk the walk.

Now, back to the conversation we were having as we were walking back from the 5 miler and discussing the Thanksgiving, not menu, but portion size. I finally just had to laugh at him and tell him, "You know you keep telling me you're going to be under 180 by a certain date, all of which have come and gone. It should be easy for you do do, after all, you live with the "Food Nazi". He laughed and I think he understood what I was saying.

One of the things about losing weight is that to increase our odds of success we have to control what foods we have easy access to in our home (AKA control environment). In a moment of weakness if we have certain foods within our grasp, it's easier to over eat or binge. But if the junk food isn't there, it isn't going to be eaten. During the time I've been dieting, as I mentioned earlier, Hubby has thrown all kinds of things into the shopping cart: candy bars (the big ones), whole boxes of donuts, cookies, etc. For the most part, I haven't said anything. I just put them in a "snack cupboard" so I don't have to see them every time I open a pantry door.

In reality, this has probably made me stronger because I've had tempting things within easy reach. However, keep in mind this statement is being made in hindsight. At the time these things were taking place, I didn't know I would be successful. But, for the most part, his diet choices were his diet choices and mine were mine. However, sometimes I just have to say, "This is how it's going to be, I'm not going to risk the failure of losing control". No one else may understand why it's such an issue, but I do and that's good enough for me. I think that's an important lesson to learn in the weight battle.

TRUTH IN BLOGGING STATEMENT: I do want to mention (and give credit) that recently Hubby has been able to actually lose a few pounds and in the past few weeks has even been working on making good choices and portion control.

159.4

OK, I'm back to where I was before my "scheduled cheat". Since I'm only a few days away from my official weigh in (Saturday), I'm hoping to come down a bit more between now and then. ANYTHING less than the week before is good enough for me, because it all adds up to WEIGHT LOSS over the long haul! And let there be no mistake, it's the long haul that's most important.

A few days ago I posted my idea about having pizza for Thanksgiving dinner. (At least I think I posted it.) Anyway, I also mentioned it to hubby. Since that time, I've thought a bit more about it and think perhaps it's not such a great idea, especially since it's such a high calorie food, after all, maybe I would eat too much?. I'd all but changed my mind when yesterday hubby brought the subject back up. It seems he's looking forward to the idea! I guess all this time I've been dieting, he's been "suffering" along with me, (albeit to a much lesser degree). Anyway, I think he's really looking forward to the idea and even said which type of pizza he would like (double crust & stuffed). So now I'm considering it again.

In the past I would have just gone out and had pizza. To wait over a month for it would have been unheard of! And now that I am thinking about it again, the decision won't be some guilt ridden decision that derails me from my program. It will be my monthly "scheduled cheat". And again, my scheduled cheats are not passes to eat like a pig and stuff everything in my mouth that I've turned away from for the past months. No, it's a REASONABLE treat, something that is higher in calories, too high to be part of my regular diet. It's not a "free -day" pass. For the rest of the day I'll eat according to my plan, or a bit lighter even.

If this is my decision, I'd have 2 pieces of pizza and some pumpkin pie for dessert. That's it. Not bad for a Thanksgiving dinner I'd say (in terms of calories it could be much worse). But I wonder if any pizza place would even be open. Would it still taste OK to buy it the evening before and then just put it in the fridge until the following day, then bake it? The logistics may not work out. But I am thinking about it. Any thoughts?

159.6

I'm almost totally "recovered" from my scheduled cheat on Saturday. Just 2 tenths away from my lowest weight of last week (and the same as last Saturday). I was planning on a 5 miler today but I'm not so sure it will not rain long enough for me to get it in. There's nothing I'd hate more than getting caught in the rain, at 46 degrees no less. That would make for a pretty miserable run.

So I'm back at being less than 5 pounds from my goal. I assume that next month I'll be going back to Weight Watchers. My Diet Buddy just left for a 3 week vacation in eastern Europe and I told her, "Wouldn't it be fantastic if I was at goal when you got back?" She thought it would. She reached her goal over a month ago.

I want to say a few words about my diet buddy. We met through an Internet site that does just that, matches up people looking for support in reaching their weight goals. I went to the site and registered but did not take the final step of matching myself up with another person. I'm not sure why I didn't but I suspect it was so I could ignore my weight gain a bit longer.

So a few months passed and then my diet buddy went in and registered. Only she did the final step too. That gave her my info. Then I got an e-mail stating she wanted to be diet buddies. That was the beginning. At that point, I hadn't seriously done anything to lose weight. But once I got her e-mail, I started counting calories. She was also the person who told me about the Beck Diet Solution.

Anyway, we have so many things in common that it's uncanny. We have things in common that the web site didn't even ask about. So in our case, it's been a great match. We've communicated, usually on a daily basis, since March. We understand each other's faulty thinking patterns in terms of how we deal with food. We encourage each other and support each other. I probably owe every ounce I've lost to her e-mailing me that day and asking if I wanted to be her diet buddy.

It's better than having an "in person" friend to talk to about these things. Because this diet buddy REALLY understands. This person understands the shame I've felt at losing control of my eating. We've walked this road together. So anyone who might be searching for a diet buddy, I'd recommend it highly because it worked well for me.

www.MyDietBuddy.com

160.2

Being up a titch after a long run is no big deal. It happens most of the time. It's less than a pound up from my lowest low ever of last week. So, I'll just keep plugging along.

I must have been having some cravings last night because I asked hubby if he wanted pizza for our Thanksgiving dinner. He asked if that would include pumpkin pie for dessert, and I replied that it would. That would take care of two things at once, a holiday meal and a monthly "scheduled cheat". I have plenty of time to decide how serious I actually am about this.

Last night I was thinking that I really haven't craved many foods. As I was watching a food commercial on TV (in high def no less), it occurred to me that none of the commercials were even tempting to me. Except for pizza (that's when I came up with the Thanksgiving menu idea). I think that's a good sign, that my life isn't being ruled by food. Besides, I have noticed that since my taste buds get lots of good foods, like veggies, and not much junk food, that anything sweet tastes too sweet. Maybe that has something to do with it too. I just know it's a good thing.

159.8

I'm "recovering" from my scheduled cheat on Saturday. This morning we ran 9.5 miles. It was a great run. I still can't get over how much easier it is to run with less weight on me. Of course it only makes sense! Not much else to report for today.

159.6

Nothing dramatic but at least a titch less than last week. My little turtle is in the home stretch. Her little nose is almost in the "goal zone".

I'm probably going to do a scheduled cheat today. But first I'm headed to the track to do some speed work. Not much else to report.

159.4

Lately I seem to be on the "2 tenths a day" diet plan. That's okay by me, no complaints because if it was steady, that's over a pound a week. At this point, I'm delighted if I can lose a pound every week because there have been many weeks where that hasn't been the case. And the jury is still out for this week. Tomorrow is my official weigh-in.

I'm thinking I might do a "scheduled cheat" on Saturday. We have a $5 discount coupon for this really good restaurant. Actually we have 2 coupons. We got them at a recent 10K we ran. And Saturdays are good days to cheat because it gives me a week to recover from it, and because it is my official weigh-in day, I'm usually very careful to not negate any progress I was able to chart that morning.

I think my system likes the jolt of the additional calories of the scheduled cheat. Besides, it's "real world". It's worked for me these many months so why change things?

159.6

Interesting Stats: For those of you who find it interesting in how the body distributes its weight loss (and of course I think this is REAL interesting since it's me), I offer you my stats:

Began Diet March 30th at 186.2 pounds

First measurements were taken on July 12th, after 12.8 pounds weight loss (weight 169.8). Second measurements were taken on Oct. 10th, after additional 10 lbs. weight loss (total loss 26.4 lbs.). These are losses of INCHES. The first number is at the July measurement and the second number is yesterday's measurement.

Upper chest . . . . . 1 . . . . . 3

Bust . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 . . . . . 3

Midriff . . . . . . . . . . 1 . . . . . 3

Upper Arm . . . . . . 1 . . . . . 1.25

Waist . . . . . . . . . . . 3.5 . . . . 5.5

Upper Hip . . . . . . . 1.5 . . . . 5

Lower Hip . . . . . . . 2.5 . . . . 4.5

Upper Thigh . . . . . .1.5 . . . . 2.5

Mid Thigh . . . . . . . . 0 . . . . . 1.5

Calf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25 . . . . .25 (that's .25)

Total lost: . . . . . 13.25. . . . . 29.5

Yeah me!

159.8

Hey, I'm back! I think it's just starting to sink in that I'm in the 150's. Maybe because I'm so close to "the line", it hasn't really hit me yet.

Last night we had a couple from our church bring over a home made apple bread. I thought it sounded delicious. As of this moment, I have not tasted it. I assume it's very high in calories and something I'm just better off not even trying. I think this would be a good thing to exercise my "resistance muscle" on (Beck Diet Solution). So, I'll leave it for hubby and if he doesn't eat it, then I'll throw it out.

Really, there's nothing more empowering than throwing out food you love. Odd as that sounds. Once I made a potato salad (and I do make a good potato salad) for a BBQ. As usual, I made a ton of it so there was plenty left over. Usually, I'd have it for breakfast and all other meals because it's really a treat for me. Anyway, once I realized how much I had and how many calories were in it, I put it ALL down the garbage disposal, every tasty morsel. Not only did I feel good because the temptation was no longer there, I felt empowered. I took control and made a good decision.

After all, it's only food. Just a mixture of chemicals . . . that's all food is, a mixture of chemicals that cause chemical reactions in your body (some good, some not so good). Remembering that food is just a chemical, just as a pill is a chemical, is a helpful way of looking at things. The book that really helped me see and realize this was You On A Diet.

So my journey continues. How's yours going?

160

Well, I was there for a day. Since I ran 10 miles yesterday it was any one's guess as to how my weight would respond. Usually I'm a bit dehydrated and go up a couple pounds but I tried to make sure I drank a lot of water yesterday afternoon and evening so maybe that's why I didn't fluctuate by much.

As soon as I get back to my Weight Watcher's goal weight, I'm going back to attending the meetings. Since I am a lifetime member I'll be able to attend free. So I'll go for the support and the encouragement and besides, as any life time member knows . . . it's a matter of principle!

My goal weight for Weight Watcher's is 157. So when I hit my 155 goal, I should be able to weigh 157 on their scales with clothes on.

I remember this one person I knew, who weighed around 300 pounds, bragging that she was a lifetime member. I thought that was plain sad.

159.8

Yup, I actually dipped into the 150's today! I don't know if it will be there tomorrow, but for today, it's looking pretty good to me. (I'm going for a long run in about an hour so that can do any of a number of things to my weight the following day.)

Since I'm getting so close to my goal of 155 pounds, I've settled in on a couple things. First of all, last time I weighed 155, maybe 6-7 years ago, it seemed I was thinner than I am now. I know this weight came off differently (as I've mentioned before) but I'm not satisfied with how much more I still need to lose of my abdominal area. I am a great example of an apple shaped body.

I know a part of this perception is due to the fact that I haven't adjusted to my new body image. I'm not sure where I am mentally, but I'm fairly certain it's pretty close to where I was when I started out at 186 pounds. This observation is sometimes rather glaring when I shop for clothes and see how far off I am on sizes.

I'm already at a healthy weight for my height (5' 9"). I think I look fairly "normal" to everyone else. But I do believe I'm just going to ride this wave out and see where it takes me.

This whole time I've stayed at 1500 calories a day. I never did lower it from there and I continued to lose weight (albeit very slowly). I assume since I'm less than 5 pounds from my goal (today at least) that I will reach my goal without having to lower my calorie intake.

Living at 1500 calories a day is very doable. I can easily do this for the rest of my life. So to stop losing weight when I hit my goal (which would mean to actually increase my calories a titch) just doesn't seem to make sense to me. So, I'm planning on riding it out . . . . and seeing where I land.

161

Up a pound from yesterday. No reason other than I was busy helping a friend yesterday and didn't drink water like I usually do. I even awoke during the night very thirsty so I guess it really wasn't surprising. Oh well, been there before, I'll be there again.

160

I'm officially exactly 5 pounds away from my goal. I'm surprised I was down at all because I haven't run since Thursday. We were planning on running yesterday but ended up getting lazy. So we told ourselves we'd run today. Well, we awoke to snow covered houses, trees and lawns and it's still coming down. I suppose the area where we usually run it's probably raining. Because of our plans for the day, it's either this morning or not at all, and it looks like not at all is winning. Five more pounds . . . just 80 measly ounces.

160.2

Oh . . . I'm getting closer and closer to the 150's! Tomorrow's the "official" weigh in. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

160.6

OK, here I am again. I'm headed out for a 5 miler this morning so maybe tomorrow I can get a new all time low weight. Getting my morning weight is getting sort of complicated. I always weigh in first thing in the morning, (after I go pee that is). I wear my PJ's when I weigh in, they weigh .4 of a pound. I include the weight of my pj's in with my weight, though I'm not sure why. Anyway, I had 2 pair of the same pj's and as such, they weighed the same. I'd just wear one while the other was in the laundry.

The problem is that these are summer pj's. Sleeveless and getting very baggy. They're so big in fact that sometimes during the night I get wrapped up in them and feel like a mummy. So yesterday I bought some new pj's at Kohl's on their clearance sale. For less than 5 bucks I found some Liz Claiborne pj's on clearance. Very cute and they fit much better since they're a smaller size. So I bought 2 pair. Once I got home, I washed them up, then weighed them. They weigh 2 tenths more than the old ones. So this morning, I deducted the extra 2 tenths from my total weight.

Now if this is sounding sort of anal to you, don't worry because it's sounding sort of anal to me too. But there's no sense gathering this weight data if it's not going to be accurate. I started out with the additional 4 tenths added to my weight so I surely don't want to add to that. But if I subtract it out that feels like cheating too. And don't suggest I just weigh in the nude because that would mean I'd get up, take off my pj's, weigh, put them back on, then go eat breakfast. I don't dress for over an hour after I get up - ah! the retired life!

Anyone who's dealt with weigh issues know exactly what I'm talking about here. Yes, it is anal, but it is what it is. I'm just trying to keep the data pure. So, should I continue to deduct the 2 tenths to keep the comparison figures absolutely correct (why is this so damn important) or should I just deduct the total weight of pj's and go for a nude weight? Any suggestions?

In My Own Defense: I know this whole thing sounds petty but you have to remember that my whole weight loss has been these small increments, just one after the other. So even though it is such a small amount, it does matter.

160.8

Same as yesterday. It's strange but lately I've felt like I haven't lost any weight (ever, not just lately). I must be adjusting to my new size because it's feeling big. Isn't that weird? I wear a smaller size but yet I feel like I'm still 186 pounds. Perception is such a strange thing.

I got my new clothes from Penny's yesterday. They fit but I sort of feel like I look fat in them. Actually the pants were a bit big but I washed them up and hopefully they shrunk enough. If not, oh well, they were cheap on clearance anyway. But since they are corduroy I think they will have shrunk enough.

Not much else to say about things today. Just hanging in there and waiting for the scale to change. Hey - someone should take that song Waiting For The World to Change and change the words to waiting for the scale to change! OK, here's my shot at it:

(Parody of John Mayer lyrics "Waiting On The World To Change")

Waiting On The Scale To Change

Me and all my friends, stopped munching high fat food.

They said we'd stop for nothing and there's no way we ever could.

Now we ate high cal junk, our weight's up on the scale cuz we feed it.

We just feel like we don't have the means, to exercise and beat it.

So we keep waiting, waiting on the scale to change.

We keep on waiting, waiting on the scale to change.

It's hard to eat our rice cakes, when we've gotten no resistance.

So we keep waiting, waiting on the scale to change.

Now if we had the power, to lay our forks down on the floor,

We would have never outgrown our jeans, no more britches would be tore.

And when you trust your appetite, what you eat is all you got.

Cause when we count our calories daily, we can bend those rules a lot.

That's why we're waiting, waiting on the scale to change.

We keep on waiting, waiting on the scale to change.

It's not that we don't care, we just know that bein' fat ain't fair.

So we keep on waiting, waiting on the scale to change.

And we're still waiting, waiting on the scale to change.

We keep on waiting, waiting on the scale to change.

One day low cal portions are gonna rule the restaurant menu.

So we keep on waiting, waiting on the scale to change.

We keep on waiting, waiting on the scale to change.

160.8

It's always a surprise to see what my weight will do after a long run. Luckily not much happened this time around (just down a bit). I don't have any soreness or inflammation after yesterday's 9 miler so I guess that means no water retention. Good thing!

I'm thinking that my JC Penny order will come today. I got 2 (of 4) new sports bras yesterday. The bras feel comfortable. I just hope since they are not compression that they will handle the bounce issue well enough. They're rated for intense activity but once you get to a certain size I think there isn't a lot they can do other than minimize the bounce factor a bit. Just keep 'em from giving me black eyes or slapping anyone running past me!

These sports bras will be drier to wear than the compression bras so that will increase my comfort. Besides, I was getting too much friction from the compression bras. I'll take a test run in a day or two and see how it works out.

That's one thing I've noticed about losing this weight as slowly as I have. It's come off differently this time. Usually I lose most of my breasts when I've dieted but this time I haven't lost much at all. Most women would be grateful for that but I can stand to lose some and was hoping to do so. Since I'm not at goal yet, maybe I still will. I'd like to lose some there and more off my stomach. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

161.4

Yesterday I had a shock. I've always lowed Great Harvest's tea scones. I assumed they were high in calories so I limited myself to how often I would have them. Maybe 2 a month. Until yesterday it never occurred to me to check the Internet to see if I could find out how many calories were in them. Maybe I was living in denial because I knew that once I really knew how many calories were in them, they'd be like macaroni and cheese . . . banished from my menu. Something I love but would no longer enjoy because it just wasn't worth all the calories.

I used to "charge" myself 300 calories for a scone. But in hindsight, I should have known better. I should have guessed at least 500 per scone. But then I still would have been too low because now I know that a whole scone (the cinnamon one, and anyway who can eat just half of one?) is a whopping 700 calories! The fruit scones aren't quite as bad, about 100 calories less. But still!

There are very few foods I eat that I don't know EXACTLY what the calorie cost is, (to the gram). Actually, this might be the only thing I did eat that I was guessing the calories on. But now, I know the real cost of the decision to eat a scone. As good as they are, they're just not good enough to use half my daily allotment on one food item. So I'll wipe the tear from my eye and bid farewell to my Great Harvest Tea Scones because frankly, you're just not worth it, BUT I AM!